• crime [she/her, any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Similarly:

    Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart.

    Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don't recognize.

    tweet (nitter)

  • Judge_Juche [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    Only perverts have wifi-enabled bullshit, they like it when they are arbitrary denied things by an inanimate object.

    You want coffee, fuck you, coffee maker needs an update.

    You want to take a shower, not today, go roll around in a puddle like a dog, shower head can't connect to wifi.

    You want to go inside your own house, nope, you sleep on the lawn now, but the wifi enabled door will let random strangers in becuase of poor security, and all you can do is watch.

    • D61 [any]
      ·
      3 years ago

      "Cuck"-nology. :kelly:

    • kristina [she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      Open source mesh network wifi switch gang. I can control the speed of my fan without getting up like the lazy bitch I am

      • Ithorian [comrade/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        Is it an intranet? Cause I really want to set something like that up but most of the IOT devices require actual internet connection as far as I can tell.

        • kristina [she/her]
          ·
          edit-2
          3 years ago

          Its a separate mesh network that is on its own frequency so it doesn't interfere with wifi. Is directly hooked into a router so we can use our phones to fuck with it. Idk why you'd want smart anything outside of lights and fans. Maybe something that pings your phone when the drier goes off or something

          • crime [she/her, any]
            ·
            3 years ago

            If there was a decent open source smart speaker like Amazon Alexa i'd be all over it ngl. My ADHD ass would make great use of having a computer set reminders and make lists for every stray thought that crosses my mind before it's gone forever, but computer-augmented executive functioning isn't worth adding a corporate spyware fixture in my house :/

          • Ithorian [comrade/them]
            ·
            3 years ago

            I'd love a coffee maker that would start its self before I'm even out of bed.

            • kristina [she/her]
              ·
              edit-2
              3 years ago

              Ours has a timer on it to start itself at a certain time. I guess if you wanna press the go button when you wake up that'd be nice. Or hook it up to a sleep monitor app for optimal coffee time lol

            • crime [she/her, any]
              ·
              3 years ago

              I've gotten a lot of mileage out of analog socket timers for things like that ngl. Got one hooked up to the bathroom space heater for 15 mins before I get out of bed in the morning, has really made this winter way less miserable for me

  • emizeko [they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    if you are buying a wifi-enabled smoke alarm you have never worked on software for a tech company

    • rimsonatoaster [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      Wack. Get a Chromebook, put it under your enemy's account, and fuck up their search recommendations.

  • knifestealingcrow [any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    I don't know shit about technology but I've woken up in a cold sweat dreaming about printer noises. In a kitchen there's an inverse relationship between the number of "EEEEEE URRR" noises the printer makes and my will to live

  • Wildgrapes [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    If something wants to connect to the internet it better have a damn good reason. Almost all iot things do not. My lightbulbs do not need to be able to DDOS at the behest of a botnet

  • Blottergrass [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    My cousin kept hyping the group chat about NFTs then during christmas when we were together IRL he finally revealed that the NFT he has that's worth $20,000 was gifted to him. And we were just like dude, the reason you like is because it was literally fucking free money....

  • BeamBrain [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Right next to the NFT buyers are Yudkowsky and his cult