Similarly:
Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart.
Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don't recognize.
Only perverts have wifi-enabled bullshit, they like it when they are arbitrary denied things by an inanimate object.
You want coffee, fuck you, coffee maker needs an update.
You want to take a shower, not today, go roll around in a puddle like a dog, shower head can't connect to wifi.
You want to go inside your own house, nope, you sleep on the lawn now, but the wifi enabled door will let random strangers in becuase of poor security, and all you can do is watch.
a lot of it is domestic abusers who like the power to monitor their spouse
Open source mesh network wifi switch gang. I can control the speed of my fan without getting up like the lazy bitch I am
Is it an intranet? Cause I really want to set something like that up but most of the IOT devices require actual internet connection as far as I can tell.
Its a separate mesh network that is on its own frequency so it doesn't interfere with wifi. Is directly hooked into a router so we can use our phones to fuck with it. Idk why you'd want smart anything outside of lights and fans. Maybe something that pings your phone when the drier goes off or something
If there was a decent open source smart speaker like Amazon Alexa i'd be all over it ngl. My ADHD ass would make great use of having a computer set reminders and make lists for every stray thought that crosses my mind before it's gone forever, but computer-augmented executive functioning isn't worth adding a corporate spyware fixture in my house :/
I'd love a coffee maker that would start its self before I'm even out of bed.
Ours has a timer on it to start itself at a certain time. I guess if you wanna press the go button when you wake up that'd be nice. Or hook it up to a sleep monitor app for optimal coffee time lol
I've gotten a lot of mileage out of analog socket timers for things like that ngl. Got one hooked up to the bathroom space heater for 15 mins before I get out of bed in the morning, has really made this winter way less miserable for me
if you are buying a wifi-enabled smoke alarm you have never worked on software for a tech company
Wack. Get a Chromebook, put it under your enemy's account, and fuck up their search recommendations.
I don't know shit about technology but I've woken up in a cold sweat dreaming about printer noises. In a kitchen there's an inverse relationship between the number of "EEEEEE URRR" noises the printer makes and my will to live
If something wants to connect to the internet it better have a damn good reason. Almost all iot things do not. My lightbulbs do not need to be able to DDOS at the behest of a botnet
My cousin kept hyping the group chat about NFTs then during christmas when we were together IRL he finally revealed that the NFT he has that's worth $20,000 was gifted to him. And we were just like dude, the reason you like is because it was literally fucking free money....
