I have 3 that I still regularly think about.
the first: my friends were making fun of me at the dollar theater by comparing my name to an erection. this cop was hanging out in the lobby as well and decided to join in. like was he trying to impress the 10 year olds or what
the second: I got pulled over riding in a friend's car in high school because they hung out in a park where people did weed a bunch so the cop recognized their car. this dude busted a u turn on a residential intersection to follow us. he tails us for a few miles until we decide to pull off and force him to make a decision whether or not to stop us, which is a pretty shitty idea looking back on it
anyway he turns on his lights and starts interrogating a car full of 16-17 year olds. when he moves to me I ask him "am I being detained" and he says no so I hop out and start walking. unfortunately I decided to come back because the girl I liked was still there. he asks to search the car and they say yes for whatever reason. he finds a roach hidden in the back seat cushion and comes up to me and says "now you're being detained" because i was the only person he thought he could charge as an adult. he cuffs me and i'm in the back of the car knowing it's bullshit but also that I'm powerless in the situation.
after crying her eyes out for a while the driver admis it's hers so he has to let me go and call her parents. I walked for an hour and a half back to my house as the sun was rising and decided I really just didn't like cops much
the third: I got pulled over after going to the store for jalapeño chips and pineapple soda, yes I was high. I had a warrant for not renewing my plates so I knew shit was gonna be bad. luckily I was right down my street so I parked my car at home. I asked my mom to take my stuff inside and told her my new plans for the evening before I was cuffed.
the cop took me to the local jail and I sat in the cell feeling like a hardened criminal listening to the dude in the cell with me crying and calling his parents 20 times before trying to sell out his sister's boyfriend for selling drugs. like he was trying to cut a deal between sobs because he got arrested for hitting his sister. anyway the cops held me for about half an hour before they told me the ticket was written by a sheriff so I would have to go to the county jail. for a fucking expired license plate.
around 2 AM a guy loaded me into a van to go to the county jail and when I got there they did all the standard booking stuff like fingerprints and mugshots then had me sit in a room watching some awful movie and they offered me a meal which consisted of a bologna sandwich, refrigerated tortilla chips, an orange and orange drink. I gave most of it to some guy who was nice enough but I kept the drink for myself. around 4 AM I sign a piece of paper saying I'll go to court and they let me go. it sucked in the moment but I'm weirdly grateful to have personally experienced how bad jail sucks, even in that very limited capacity
anyway sorry I turned turn this into my diary, I just figured if I expect you to share something I should too
Getting kettled/tear gassed at protests and having a riot cop swing at my ankle with a nightstick are certainly the worst (he missed in his over-enthusiasm, thank fuck), I wasn't leading some defiant antifa charge or anything, they just decided to start forcing people to move down the street by trying to smack anyone at the back of the crowd.
Less scary but more weird honourable mention goes to a cop once having a meltdown at me because I was pissing on some stinging nettles in a park (which is maybe a bit greasy but it was the middle of the night and there were no public toilets around - I chose stinging nettles because I assumed people would avoid them naturally, idk) and literally telling me to never come back to the town like he was a sheriff in the old west lmao.
That stinging nettles reminds me of being a preteen little shit where I grew up (next town over)
My cousin and I were dead set on throwing some “M80s” into a portashitter, but we’re too chicken to do it and kept going in and out of the thing lol
Some cop came over to hassle us about acting suspicious and I think I was just like “uh I couldn’t decide if I had to poop or not”. I don’t remember what happened next, but I didn’t get in any trouble so they must have let us go