Seeing this video gave me an idea. Raytheon, if you're listening, hear me out! :important-high-level-ideas:
So, cats can easily fit into tubes of a quite small diameter, whilst their fur fills out the space around them. They can move forward and backwards with relative ease. So what I'm thinking is, get this, cat launcher. So, you get a tube with a launching mechanism, I'm thinking pressurized air, but maybe a springboard mechanism could also work. The cat is pushed out of the tube at great force, at the target, over a long distance. Think some sort of artillery piece, but for launching cats, catillery, maybe. The point of launching a cat at a foe, is to pacify them, by gifting them a cat at a long distance, they will be distracted and too busy petting or feeding the cat to care about any current conflict, allowing troops to peacefully capture their position and force a surrender.
Of course you're thinking, "Is this safe for the cat?:kitty-cri: ", no, probably not. But do not fret! Remember that cats have 9 lives! So with some basic calculations :galaxy-brain: , we can figure out how many times 1 cat can be launched. Assuming both the launch and the landing is unsafe, that is a loss of 2 lives per launch, so a total of 4 launches can be made leaving our feline projectile with 1 life to retire from service with. And on the opposite spectrum, if both the launch and landing is safe, a healthy cat of 9 lives can be launched indefinetly, and if only one part of the sequence is unsafe, then a generous 8 launches can happen before the cat must be retired. :meow-coffee:
Personally, I believe my ideas will usher forth a new age of feline-based :based-department: warfare :meow-tankie: , where the side with the cutest, friendliest and cuddliest cats will win out, with 0 casualties on any side. (excluding potential people with allergies. Better bring anti-histamines.)
launching mechanism
Think potato cannon, except instead of adding fire to a fuel-air mixture, it's catnip to a chamber full of cats.