Last night she was coughing in a manner my asleep brain read as "gross", so unconsciously noped the fuck out of there and slept on the sofa. I can't believe my non-awake brain got it.
She tested positive a few hours ago, so now I just have 7 days to worry. I probably have it, I feel a bit off already.
I know that it's more than most people, but she was wearing low quality masks, going to a non-safe dentist at peak times, and avoiding the booster. I've been nicely pushing her for years, and she brings this shit home. She's also sorry, and I say it's fine because I want her to feel better and recover, but secretly I'm fucking raging.
Sorry to rant. Better on Hexbear than out loud.
I agree but also OP’s anger is valid, even if it’s not like the most utilitarianistically efficient distribution of anger or whatever
Whether it's valid or not, the anger is happening, which is good to recognize and validate. But I think it's a worthwhile exercise to explore the root of that anger and the response to it.
I don't think it's rational to be angry at one's partner for getting sick during an enormous surge of an incredibly contagious disease even while taking more precautionary measures against getting sick than maybe 95% of the population.
I am also willing to bet that she knows full well that the OP has been nudging her about COVID stuff beyond what she's already been doing (which already sounds cautious), and feels guilty about it. This probably goes on top of the guilt and shame of potentially exposing your loved one to a serious and highly communicable disease.
I think the person in the situation who needs compassion and care is the person who currently definitely has COVID. For the OP, it's reasonable to be afraid of getting sick and for that fear to manifest as anger. But I do not think it is fair to guilt or shame one's partner as a vector of disease when she probably already physically, mentally, and emotionally feels like shit.
It sounds like the OP agrees with this by saying "Better on Hexbear than out loud," which I 100% agree with. But if OP was my friend telling me this over the phone, this is what I'd tell him, not to shame him for feeling anger, but to help identify its source as fear for his and his partner's wellbeing and handle it in a healthy and functional way that supports his partner in her time of need.
OP we are here for you to help u be there for her
I agree with this, yeah.
Edit: Covid tips has a whole section about how hard it is to fully internalize the scale of Covid and how to be patient with people who can’t yet, even though it’s really annoying and difficult to be that patient