After about a month of them posting combat porn, I want to make a post offering to send care packages to their partners which vaguely but heavily implies I just want to seduce them. It'd be like the "mr president your fired sir" under a memorial to Dale Earnhardt Jr. Tone deaf in a way that causes blind rage in dumb guys.

Then if any of them respond in earnest, I'm going to ironically and unironically seduce their partner. It's not a deployment without a Dear John letter for the Johnny Getting His Gun so thank you for your service sir.