So I landed a really nice job with a really cool company and they plan on hiring me this March, but before they can do that I need to pass a drug test. My manager personally doesn't care whether or not I smoke weed but I live in a state where weed is illegal, and the company does care and would bar me from hiring if I were to fail a drug test.
I was stupid and smoked a fuck ton of weed last Sunday (before I knew that A; I need to take a drug test in the first place, and B; that weed can remain present in urine for up to (and possibly over) 30 days in frequent smokers (which I am)). This would originally have been fine if it weren't for the fact that after agreeing to the background check, I would be scheduled for a drug test by the 13th (within 4 days). So my original plan to just drink a shit ton of water to flush myself out within a month wouldn't work.
I also had a plan to sneak in a jar of my sober friend's pee but then I learned that you're actually required to pee in front of the observer so that plan wouldn't work either.
So basically I'm fucked and I don't know what to do :( My future pretty much depends on this job and I don't know what I would do if I were to fuck this opportunity up. What do I do?
Also, idk how relevant this is but I'm 5'9" (~175 cm), 160 lbs (~72.6 kg), AMAB, and very infrequently exercise. I also have POTS so I sweat frequently and have poor water retention.
I made an account just to help you with this. It is really easy to pass a urine test.
You need to drink a lot of water all at once. The goal is to get your body to bypass the adsorption of water and have your kidneys get rid of it. Your urine will look clear. Most people will tell you this will force a retest.
2nd step is to eat a lot of high protien food like a pound of so of brisket. The goal here is to get your urine foamy. This is something they look for when checking a for quality sample.
3rd get some b12 like less than half a 5 hour energy. The other main thing they loom for is color to clean or dark is also bad. They same with to bright which is what you get with an excess of b vitiams.
This will need to be done on the day of the test. Don't start 2nd step till you get the first one done same with 3rd step and step 2. Just keep drinking water all day.
I found this on a doctor's blog many years ago while trying to get around my own test. Also stop smoking till your test and if retested do the same routine.
Anyone really want to scare the testers and possibly get a lawsuit out of it drink a lot of pureed beets, it turns your urine red not just your poo!
I would make sure to eat a lot of protein the night before, as well as the day of. That's what I used to do.
I've passed many of tests, but had to give up on all the dilution/substitution techniques a long time ago. The stress just wasn't worth it, especially once I entered my career (and not just testing for a coffee shop position). Now I just piss clean when I need to