Biden gets elected by the smallest possible margin and all the neolibs cheer and hold parties. By Jan 20 he's completely gone mentally and up on stage ranting about being God's chosen crusader for Israel or something. Mid-sentence calling for 100 billion Palestinian children to be fed into a wood chipper (to raucous applause) he has massive stroke. He collapses and falls off stage into Nancy Pelosi's lap and evacuates his bowels. He somehow survives and they just keep wheeling his now completely non-verbal ass around pretending like nothing is wrong, he's just taken a vow of silence to bring light to the suffering of the Israelis.