Putin: I'd like to talk to you about NATO expansion

Trump: NATO? Too expensive, everyone else should be paying for it, we're paying for basically all of it! And you should see the things we're spending money on. Did you know there's like 6 labs in Georgia and Ukraine trying to make flies that live in the cold? 6 labs! I said guys, why don't we just put it all in a single lab? It'd save so much money.

Putin: Tell me more about that

Trump: We have the best scientists since I came in, the very best. Good genes, my uncle was a professor. And I said to them "guys, why don't you work on nuclear instead, everyone is hearing good things about nuclear these days." Obama said he

Putin, to translator: his uncle what? What the fuck

(short back and forth in Russian)

Trump, to translator: Do they have McDonald's in this country, I could really go for a filet O fish.

(translator shrugs)

Putin: Moving offensive missile systems into Eastern Europe is bad for everyone's security.

Trump: That's what I said! And it costs so much money! We need to be saving that money for investigations on Hillary Clinton, that's what I keep telling my guys but they just have excuses after excuses. Can I tell you something Vlad, between us high energy type individuals? Being president isn't as much fun as I thought it would be. There's a lot of rules and all my old celebrity friends get mad at me.

Putin: I see what's going on here. Damn you Lenin, this is probably partially your fault