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  • sappho [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    I heavily relate to the first part of this video from my experience as a closeted lesbian: realizing you should be having crushes by now, mechanically selecting a boy to like, waiting every year for the guys your age to finally become attractive... I thought that maybe I didn't find any boys good-looking because they matured at a different rate and just weren't done growing yet? Or maybe I was just very picky? I was so determined to be bisexual instead of lesbian. I really thought I could make it work. And it was just like she described, slowly realizing that some fundamental elements were missing from my feelings about men. I am very much allosexual but I actually thought I was ace for a while because I clearly didn't have feelings for dudes but I was still refusing to explore my feelings for women.

    • VernetheJules [they/them]
      ·
      3 years ago

      I really thought I could make it work. And it was just like she described, slowly realizing that some fundamental elements were missing from my feelings about men.

      God same, expect for me my "404 error" was having sex with a woman as a man. Like I literally told people it felt like I was dividing by zero. And I felt so broken because of that.

      Realizing I was trans after trying to rationalize the other way for so long and struggling and steeping in denial is so ridiculous. It sucks it still takes so many of us so long but I'm happy to see a video like this because even if someone isn't aro/ace it helps convey that someone might not know they're be their exact identity once they're born.

      Like it was refreshing to watch and made me feel more secure in my identity because I didn't relate to a lot of what Jaiden was saying! Whereas I was absolutely shattered when I realized how much I had in common with trans and even cis lesbians.