I don't consider myself particularly interesting, but I would say my interests are vastly different from the average guy on dating apps
I don't know how to say this without sounding pretentious, but I prefer intellectual conversation over nights at the bar or whatever. I just want to be able to share the thoughts I have floating around my head with someone, ya know? When I'm not on hexbear.net, I play guitar, draw, write and enjoy analyzing different types of media and digging into the meaning of stuff
Stream of consciousness slop, I know, but I'm super high and my thoughts are firing off. Can anyone relate or see where I'm coming from?
I dislike dating apps or dating in general for that reason. I don't believe that people can be their authentic selves in that situation. Love shouldn't be a job interview, it should be a natural relationship with a friend that becomes more over time.
I understand why some people might like it though and I mean no disrespect to people who like dating, you do you.
Let me put it this way, if you lie and get a date, you're eventually going to have to be yourself eventually, why put that extra pressure on yourself? Just be you and if no one is interested then you're probably better off finding love a different way.
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don't be absurd. alchemy and haruspicy have the best romantic applications
you can talk with a person irl before you start dating them you know. Do stuff together as friends first.
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Except dating apps you first make a profile with pictures and a bio and then directly compete with other "candidates" for the privilege of... meeting a random person. Next you both lie to eachother the first couple meetings because that's what you are supposed to do apparently, much like with a job interview. Then finally, if you both like the fake personas you constructed for eachother, then you can act truly like yourself and discover all the things you should have figured out when you first met the person. After this you probably break up but hey maybe you like eachother's true selves too and it works out.
In comparison you can just meet someone irl and act yourself immediately because there's not the same competitive pressure to do the stupid online dating dog-and-pony show. Then if you have good chemistry you can advance at your own pace from there.
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That's another thing: It genuinely feels like dating apps are an extension of the a la carte economy
All the streaming services, healthcare, phone plans, and now relationships. The most universal part of the human experience commodified? Cool!
this is absolutely correct. Online dating loses the element of spontaneity that sanctifies a romantic relationship with the "chance of fate." The event of falling in love with another person is forces you to reevaluate your whole life, even retroactively, to explain your coming together with this person. That can be a traumatic process for a lot of people (including me btw) so people would rather just pick from a menu.
We are almost returning to pre-romantic times where person love is a matter you put in the hands of other. Except now instead of it being your dad or uncle deciding who to marry it's "dating agencies" and apps who select people on a very similar basis (connections and wealth). What these apps offer is is precise love, love without messy business of falling in love, which are what makes up normal unpredictable romantic encounters. It's sad, I think a lot of people are afraid of these encounters nowadays because they can hurt a lot but they can also be so nice and we are losing it. It's like most of the treat-addicted West: we want the pleasures without having to pay any costs. Soda without sugar, beer without alcohol, sex without love.
i 100% agree, but that approach hasn't been very fruitful for me lol do you have a different experience?
Also, I have no evidence to back this up, but I would say on average NDs have trouble on dating apps because there aren't that many