Good advice in this thread, but my belief is that the best thing you can do if your goal is just self defense is to run sprints. 90% of assailants won't bother chasing you if you make a convincing break for it, especially if you can do something like quickly scale a fence (this goes for cops as well).

You need partners to really learn effectively. There is still value in learning core concepts and even just, like, cardio kickboxing and shit like that for conditioning and getting movements down, but you need somebody to spar with or grapple with if you want to have technique you can use effectively. My only formal training experience is with boxing, and it is very different to womp on a bag or other stationary object, and another to land shots on a moving target that throws back.

My Tips:

• If you're in the US, there should be a boxing gym in your area at the very least. Don't worry to much about styles and shit like that though, because the best style for you will always be the one that you can / will actually learn. By this I mean, available in your area, affordable, right gym vibe, etc.

• the vast majority of gyms will let you sit in on a class to get a sense of the vibe and quality of instruction. If they're hostile to a sit-in, fuck them, they probably suck.

• find a good set of sparring partners that you feel safe with, and remember that nobody is entitled to spar with you if you don't feel comfortable

• if you do have a wealth of options to choose from, I personally recommend learning boxing (for footwork and defense against punches more than the punching) and wrestling (striking exchanges very easily collapse into grappling ranges, because it is hard to maintain proper distance while fighting a moving opponent).

In general though, while martial arts are cool and will make you better equipped to defend yourself, you have to keep in mind that it will always be worse than just having a weapon (unarmed defense against armed attackers is bullshit and luck), and that martial arts as a weapon will always be fundamentally limited by your own body in ways that actual weapons aren't. If you have a body that doesn't lend itself to physically dominating other people (small, weak, slow, fragile, etc.), you can still benefit and become better off, but raw physicality is a hell of an advantage.

IN SHORT: Even with my training in boxing, if I got attacked, I'm going for mace, fuck all that fightin' shit. Weapons are better and easier, and overall cheaper too. The only thing I can really say for martial arts is it gives you something to work with while you're getting your weapon / if you can't get it.

Get into martial arts as a hobby because it's cool. Maybe learn the triangle step, you can do that on your own. Also consider checking out Jack Slack (podcast on youtube) if you want to just get some concepts stirring around.

i think there's a good reason martial arts have typically been taught in-person by a master. at the very least you need someone to spar with.

This guide is for trans women and enby folx, but it’s really good in general:

https://www.silversprocket.net/2021/09/13/a-self-defense-study-guide-for-trans-women-and-gender-non-conforming-nonbinary-amab-folks/

Any self defence technique that is not tested against a resisting opponent (none of that choreographed woo) is useless and liable to get you hurt, even killed.

Practice running -- sprint and longer distance. It's good for your health and mind, and is better self defence than pretty much any martial art.

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