Gaslit myself into thinking I was a sociopath cause the reason I did nice stuff was cause it made me feel good. Got over it by not being so fucking self centered and navel gazing. Oh no, I get a dopamine hit from doing good things, God forbid I get addicted to good deeds. Gotta meet a good personality trait emerging with as much suspicion as possible. Now it's cool, but now it constantly blows my mind when say at work when the hypothetical was brought up who of us would have the best chance on the show Survivor I was picked cause I have really good social skills.

Edit: my ability to give a fuck is pretty low and I've lived a lot of life at this point that makes me pretty well-informed on reading people and asserting myself. I've hopped trains and had someone stocking me who would actually kill me over some dumb shit and smoothed it over, various drug related sketchy crsp what have you. If I didn't learn how to be an appealing and charming dude I would have been fly food in a ditch long ago