I call myself “ostensibly cishet” because I look very much like a straight man, but I certainly don’t feel like a man and live in an area where my life would be destroyed if I referred to myself as something else

My use of language in the above sucks, but as a kid, I would always hang out at “the girls table” or in “the girls section” because the guys would always pick on me. It’s made life super difficult because when I meet a friend who is a woman now and ask them to hangout, their assumption is always that I want a partnership.

I literally only have one female friend who isn’t like this. It’s gotta be the fucking patriarchy right

Anyways, it’s so fucking lonely.

Why are apps only for people looking to fuck/get into relationships :/

  • Biggay [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    9 months ago

    Very cishet dude here; outside of a core group of dudes i met in middle and highschool, 90% of my other close friends have been women. I just dont always vibe super hard with dudes and its not like I'm going to invite them out to beers by ourselves, but with women its just always felt natural.

    • RyanGosling [none/use name]
      ·
      9 months ago

      Same. Growing up, it always felt like we always had to banter or one up each other when we were in our male friend circles. It was difficult to have serious conversations aside from one or two people because everyone was uncomfortable and immediately turned it into a joke. But when I was with my female/coed friend circles discussions were usually more open, more diverse. Didn’t feel like I need to put up any sorta mask. However, you do have to be aware of this because many times guys will start using their female friends as therapists because no one else in their lives is willing to listen. Some girls don’t mind, others do.

      I’m assuming that natural connection is why girls are usually first to open up and divulge more personal information to me compared to guys in my experience.

    • Aryuproudomenowdaddy [comrade/them]
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      9 months ago

      Yeah I have like two male friends from when I was a kid and basically every close friend I've had since then has been a woman.

    • IzyaKatzmann [he/him]
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      9 months ago

      i think i feel the same way, i dunno, i miss the kinds of friendships with boys i had when i was younger :/

      still have 1-3 of those but we don't interact all that much...