Edit: Okay, wow. if the statement from a woman of “we owe you nothing” immediately sets you off emotionally, I would really encourage you to think through why that might be.

A more systemic phrasing could have been “we owe the patriarchy nothing”. I changed it to that for a second before realizing, again, that it was fine. A guy that has worked through internalized patriarchy around this will understand it’s not about them.

Patriarchy on the whole conditions men towards having a sense of entitlement towards women’s bodies, time, attention, labor, etc. It also conditions women that they should feel obligated to provide this without setting boundaries or expecting reciprocal solidarity.

Remember, we literally all have degrees of internalized bigotry, misogyny, racism, transphobia, etc because these are systemic issues. Our responsibility to ourselves and our comrades is to work through that. You are not a bad person for finding those brainworms in yourself, only if you refuse to do the work to address them.

  • Dawn_Beveridge [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Sure, but is it reciprocal? A lot of times men (not all) around me will just dump a lot of heavy stuff, then will just interrupt or ignore whenever I would like to share too. It feels dehumanizing. That's the main thing I see that I think this poster tries to point out.

    • jabrd [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      This is my experience too a lot of the time but I think we have to recognize that it’s the capitalist programming that causes people to act that selfishly/without consideration for others. The brainworms run deep and the process of prying them out in order to build sincere and stable relationships takes time and often encouragement and support. Don’t waste your time on people unwilling to unlearn but in my experience the friends worth keeping are the ones open to criticism and self-improvement towards being a better friend

          • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            you could just as well ask why men don't simply make male friends who can provide them with emotional support

              • Kanna [she/her]
                ·
                2 years ago

                You keep twisting both comrades words and talking at them instead of listening and discussing in good faith

              • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
                ·
                2 years ago

                my point was both cases are simple solutions that are also not nearly as easy as they sound

                like telling a depressed person to cheer up

              • TankGirl [she/her]
                ·
                2 years ago

                terf shit

                Literally not terf shit. it is strange for you to throw that at people for standard third-wave queer feminist critiques of patriarchy

      • TankGirl [she/her]
        ·
        2 years ago

        get better friends

        You literally just did exactly what she was talking about…