You (collective) are here for me so much whether you want or not, so I want to make sure you know I'm here for you too. If you have any vents and don't want to make a thread for them, I'm here. :3
Youre good. Together we will give this site all our collective love and make sure everyone is ok
The last four months of my life have been some of the shittiest of my life. My wife has been so sick we're in the ER like a dozen times a month. I have to do everything to take care of her and frequently have to stay awake all night too make sure she keeps breathing.
My car completely died and I had to buy a new one. My boiler has a pipe burst and my basement flooded. My oven hasn't been working for months but I can't fix it cause I'm so busy taking care of everything else. My animals are all suffering from the lack of attention too.
I've also got enough medical problems that I'm considered 100% disabled. So I've been in a hell of lot of pain this whole time I'm taking care of her.
Oh and my brother died on my mom's 60th birthday.
It has been pure hell and I don't know how I'm going to make it through. I try not to complain because my wife's life is so much worse but holy fuck I'm dieing.
Please do complain. Even if you want to focus on your wife then think of it like this: she needs you and she needs you at your best, and venting will help you get slightly better by letting some of your pain out. We are here for you. 🫂
One of my advisees is literally having to skip town because some guys in his neighborhood found out where he lives and tried to break into his parents apartment to get him. The situation sucks so bad. He was going to graduate in like three months, fuck
I am only as powerful as the comrades around me as they empower me. uwu
I hate being stared at in public. I can never tell if it’s people clocking me, staring because I look good, or just getting an eyeful of my tits. It really doesn’t matter which one it is; It makes me very uncomfortable and I wish people would just leave me alone. Especially since it’s almost always men.
TMI from me: I find that hot.
I hope you find a good release for the newfound happiness. I'm saying happiness, because I lose libido when miserable and get mad horny when happy, so I assume you're now happy, hence the horny. :)
I can live almost indefinitely on welfare, but I feel so trapped. It's hard to be social without spending money, and my ability to to get tools and stuff for projects is limited by money. The longer I'm unemployed the weirder my resume looks.
When will you stop being so wholesome dangit?
My problem is that I despise work, but the fact that it's a remote-only positions, which is a now largely-diminished thing again for no good reason, means I'm not likely to fall into another good role for my location. And because I'm using this income to pay debts and house a disabled family member, I'm kinda locked into needing this level of income for at least the next 10 years. So I don't really have any option to.. leave. I am trying to find other self-employed ways to earn ye olde cash, though. Admittedly, work = sucks is not a unique problem.
My other worry is that though things with my ~20 month partner are overall great, I'm scared that maybe I don't want to commit to it with marriage and moving in and stuff (which they very much want). I dunno, this feels really weird, I really really like my partner, this relationship is super healthy and they are absolutely amazing. I just struggle with thoughts of "but what if I go on to meet someone that I somehow liked more". It feels asshole-y to even say but it's just a fear stuck in my head. I'm not sure if I'm just being selfish, or I'm making life difficult for myself, or it's a red flag I should be paying attention to. Whatever I do is not just about my personal benefit, I want to do right by them too.
My other fear is how you're doing, comrade. It's super cool that you're making chill threads like these and I suddenly realise how nice of a vibe it is and love it. But I hope you're doing okay. I declare this thread also a safe space for you to vent if you want to <3
I feel like that about my partner of almost 2 years too sometimes and it's horrifyingly anxiety inducing (I have that as an OCD theme). I think it's natural though (and common), it is a big commitment so your brain tries to protect you from possible harm. In the end, we will never know how it will go before we try (with our respective relationships) and this sort of future prediction attempts only prevents us from enjoying these changes in our lives to the fullest. Do you have some anxiety disorder by any chance?
You make a good point, and the theory of protecting from harm makes sense to me - thanks <3 I'm not aware of an anxiety disorder, though I am often excessively and unhelpfully anxious so maaay be.
I just struggle with thoughts of "but what if I go on to meet someone that I somehow liked more". It feels asshole-y to even say but it's just a fear stuck in my head
Honestly, I think this is pretty normal. Commitment is scary because the future is long and there are many unknowns. I felt like this before I got married, and now I'm coming up on a decade with my partner.
if someone comes to you and says this person abused my deceased best friend as a teenager, please, please, please, DO NOT immediately bring the deceased persons sexual history into the conversation
fuck
thats all I have to say right now, fuck again for good measure
what a week 😮💨
I miss talkin bout weird fucking books.
I used to do it a lot on leddit, then goodreads, and then a discord server for a bit; I thought about doing it here too but it's basically shouting into the void. This here effortpost talks a bit about how the sheer volume of media means that it's common for two people with the same general interest to have engaged with none of the same stuff, and it's worse in my case since my special interest has me frequently deliberately seeking out weird and obscure books. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've even met someone who's heard of any of the weird fucking trans-centric litfic, or sapphic horror novels I like.
I had a good thing going on leddit, because the subreddit's mods were weirdly permissive about my semi offtopic book essays, but fuck
honestly. I like reading a lot on its own obviously, but I have always desired people to talk and discuss the stuff with, and I have just never found much of anybody.Also social skills of a dead slug etc etc
Ok this may not be exactly what you meant but I am a horror nut (dont read that many books but i read tons online and consume other horror content). I have some strong opinions on the genre, its tropes, what I like or don’t like, etc. I was itching for something new lately so I got into audio dramas, and it rules! Listened to a few, going through The Silt Verses right now and the world building is just fantastic. It also introduced to the concept of Slipstream and New Weird Horror, with the latter being one of those things I have felt for a long time, but I have been unable to articulate what exactly the vibe was.
Ok im so sorry for this rambling that was only semi-related to your post im just very excited and i dont have that many people to share this stuff with irl
Yeah, I can't say that's what I mean lol. I like horror enough, mostly just the odd popular horror film from the 70s-90s or whatever. I only read any horror novels as a result of lookin' for neat stories with lesbians in, because I am actual freak.
Yo though, what is Slipstream and also is New Weird Horror the same thing as (or similar to) Weird Fiction?
No apologies necessary, it'd be hypocritical of me to be mad at someone for semi-related rambling! Plus, not that many people to share with irl? Can relate, I only talk to my wife about anything
Slipstream is derived from mainstream (and is apparently a pretty old term) and is sort of “the genre of strange”. It’s a bit hard to describe but if you look up some definitions you’ll definitely know if you’ve read anything that fits the bill, it’s a very peculiar vibe.
New Weird Horror is related to Weird Fiction, yeah! It’s sort of what it says on the tin, horror that aims to push the boundaries of the genre, so no monster-of-the-week or gory slashers with stupid teens. Usually it involves genre blending and themes that are closer to magical realism or such, usually more unsettling than scary, or if it its overtly scary, it’s scary in some strange and existential way (think of good cosmic horror or weird unfiction narratives like the monument mythos)
Thank you for humoring me comrade if you’re interested i have tons of recommendations across several mediums <3
Oh I did not know, but seeing the definition I recognise it though I don't think I've read anything slipstream. Neat!
I love that, I despise most slashers so swapping screaming teens and movie monsters for existential strangeness, genre blending and magical realism(ish) stuff seems ideal to me. I am familiar with the Weird Fic/New Weird Horror term from reading The Drowning Girl by Caitlin R Kiernan when I was young. It really stuck with me, it's goated, I have long meant to read more New Weird Horror/etc
Of course, happy to humour and I've always got a casual eye out for actual quality horror stuff, that isn't just Friday the 13th or fuckin, The Conjuring or whatever. I tend to prefer books/written word(so like web stuff, manga even), but does anything come to mind of the top of your head that you'd be itching to rec?
Yes actually! One of my favorites is Matt Dimersky, he wrote some shorts on nosleep under the handle M59Gar. One that sticks out as being particularly amazing is Stuck. Long-form books is the horror medium I’ve consumed the least, unfortunately.
It's been 5 months and I still haven't found a job, and it's getting to me to the point that I am having a depression relapse. I have done some interviews and even received an offer (which I rejected because the guy wanted me to pass an one month probation period and wouldn't wait for me to relocate + bad vibes after an 100 question personality test that outed me as "unsociable" and "not kind enough"), but I am still holed in my home all day. If I didn't have my girlfriend I would be completely fucked mood-wise now.
I am doing something wrong for sure, I can't lie easily, I probably take the job requirements at face value and I am very bad at self-learning (without a structured environment like school), but what I can do when I have autism, ADHD and OCD, it's too much sometimes. I can't network or write a ton of cover letters or fish for referals in LinkedIn as easily as a neurotypical could.
I want to work and contribute to society. I am actually pretty decent at what I do, and I graduated with an insane GPA. Just hire me already AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Don't take the current job market personally. EVERYONE is struggling. I am super sorry you are affected.
I want to work and contribute to society.
Same. It's so hard for people who want to work under current economy. :c
🫂
I bought a full script of seroquel that a friend found dumpster diving (he finds a FUCK ton of cool shit) and started taking them every day, and I feel like it’s legit helping me, mentally.
I feel like I’m mostly over my ex-friend. What keeps me coming back is the shame, and just the fucking anger at how I’ve been treated, by everyone. It still makes me upset that I’ll never know this person, that I don’t get to be a part of their life because of what a fucking freak I am, and I don’t even want friends anymore after all this. I just wish they’d fucking talk to me. It makes me so fucking angry when I think about it. They won’t so much as tell me why they unfriended me on Facebook. I can just perfectly fucking imagine the smug fucking look they must’ve had on their face when they told my friend I need to “move on.” I fucking hate this. The worst part is how nobody takes my pain seriously. “It gets better” like I’m supposed to just boil to death in this pain until eventually it’s over.
I should probably take another seroquel.
Can you talk to a doctor about the seroquel use? I'm so sorry for your pain. :(
I mean I literally smoke meth every day. If I talk to a doctor about the stuff I’m fucking up my brain with there’s gonna be a lot to talk about.
The seroquel actually evens out the meth quite nicely. Not as good as phenobarbital but still. I feel like I’m actually not fucking insane.
Yeah it’s gonna suuuuck if I run out and don’t have any more.
