a mantra to be repeated, to the self:
"I Am Sorry"
"It's Okay"
"Thank You"
"I Love You"
you can say them in your mind, or aloud if you like. you can say them once or repeat them for effect.
"I Am Sorry" - ask yourself for forgiveness (whether you are asking forgiveness for a specific act, or asking forgiveness for irrational self-loathing)
"It's Okay" - forgive the self (for whatever it [rationally or irrationally] needs forgiven)
"Thank You" - thank the self for being forgiving! very important, we are virtually always our own harshest, most brutal critic
"I Love You" - self-care to end the mantra. Love for the outside world requires love for the self
it's not a magic bullet, but it helps more than it seems like it should. the brain is a tricky piece of wetware, and its good to recognize that means it can be hacked a bit to our benefit
yeah, interrupt the cycle and make yourself say nice things about yourself whenever you go to do it. you've got a feedback loop going where you're convincing yourself you're doing a good thing by beating yourself up and you have to intentionally interrupt that and replace it with something more healthy.
I personally found therapy a helpful signifier in letting myself be kinder to myself, which is something I've struggled with for a long time. Deep breaths are also good, trying to ground yourself.
My brain only does shit like that when I'm really stressed out.
Maybe when whatever is causing the stress passes or is diminished the obsessive thought spiral will stop... hopefully? :shrux:
I try and catch myself doing it and say "Okay, is there anything more I could actually learn from this event?" and if the answer is no then I sort of visualize packing up that thought and putting it into storage
Sorry I was clear nah I’m laying in bed and my brain just thinks about dumb shit like stuff from ages ago.
no one remembers dumb shit stuff other people did therefore you're probably the only one who even remembers
I've heard compelling theories that embarrassment is an evolutionary mechanism designed to stop us from repeating mistakes. it sucks tho.
Personally, I remind myself that people never remember or care about embarrassing things other people did in the past. We only tend to remember our own. Which means that embarrassing thing I did has been lost to time or will soon be lost to time.
