First, it started with people saying cis women getting breast implants was gender-affirming surgery and at least that kinda made sense on the very surface level. Now people are claiming all plastic surgeries are gender-affirming which made me check whether this was some orchestrated trolling effort. Doesn't seem like it.
Here's the tweet .
I'm having trouble conceptualizing something like that. Would something like a man being called 'cute' or 'adorable' instead of their preferred 'handsome' be along the lines of what you mean? In this case I think that changing oneself to be 'handsome' would be gender affirming.
Gender is by definition more about feeling than looks. After all, it would be wrong to identify a not-yet-out trans person as the gender presented by their 'looks.' If having a full head of hair makes you feel like a man then I think it follows that it can be gender affirming.
I'm a thin-ass dude and I had a girlfriend who used to gush about how slender, graceful and fragile my arms looked.
Fun fact. There is no difference between handsome and beautiful in Russian language.
It sounds like you felt bad and maybe even slight dysphoria at the reception of that compliment and I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm going to probe a little for the sake of argument, so I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable. Feel free to ignore. Did that feeling of hurt make you want to become more muscular? Do you think gaining muscle mass or having a different bone structure might make you feel 'manly' in a way that would gender affirming?
That seems like an obvious assumption to make, but no, I was happy to be complimented. Maybe I'm just a weirdo.
Like generally I think it's wrong to equate gendered beauty standards and gender. Sure, I would want to measure up to my gender's beauty standards, because that would make my life easier, but I understand that those are outside stands placed on me. I'm also tall, bold, hairy and ugly which means I've never in my life been confused to be anything but a man, I'm pretty secure in that.