There's a one minute video with the joke in the tweet.
Aside from from the obvious shit on whether you should wokescold stand-up comedians (of course you should), it made me think about the weird position straight cis dude gender nonconformity has in today's progressive spaces. Like there are people with trans flags in qrts explaining that a straight guy having his nails painted is a bad sign.
Here in Russia when I was growing up you could get beat up for being a guy with painted nails. One time I almost did.
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Gatekeeping.
i think it's good when gendernonconformity among cishets gets normalized more, and ofc attacking it from a reactionary standpoint should be met with pushback. it's good to stand up for cishets who are faced with queerphobic sentiments directed at them for their nonconforming appearance. but i don't see somebody being part of the queer community for facing that, at least not as more than any other straight ally. after all, putting on nail polish as a cishet dude is a lifestyle choice. still a bold one and one that has political implications, but these people's ability to live a life worth living isn't dependent on whether they can go out with nail polish in public without being harassed. mine is. i need to violate the gender expectations i'm faced with to survive. cissies don't.
so no, i'd definitely not see GNC cishets as part of the queer community. and a part of me regrets that i, as a trans woman waiting to medically transition, am seen as one of them now when i go out with painted nails and a skirt while still being stuck in a visibly masculine body. to a degree, they are taking something away from me when they paint their nails. they are undermining my ability to already be read as trans. there's transmedicalists out there who don't fully accept me as a woman because i'm gatekept from a medical transition for what may very well still be months (maybe longer than that, but at some point i'll take transitioning into my own hands if this doesn't proceed). it's sadly a thing that some people in the community look down on those of us who aren't as far ahead as them. and when you're in that phase, were even your own people sometimes work to undermine your validity, it's as if these straight dudes are making it harder for me to break out of the gender role forced on me. simply for a fashion statement. simply because machine gun kelly does it, too.
so i'm torn on the subject. i want to live in a society that overcomes rigid gender roles, i also want to be able to express myself in a way that reaffirms who i am. for me, that's not a matter of vanity, it's a matter of maintaining my mental health. i need to experience myself as a woman to not spiral into depression and as that's tricky right now, this trend is making me feel uncomfortable even though i'd normally appreciate it.
don't get me wrong, i don't want to wokescold these dudes. i wouldn't be in their replies to tell them they're ... appropriating trans culture or w/e, i'm not that kinda girl. just venting what pops into my head when i think about this stuff so there's a different POV in the thread as well. i still appreciate the other replies, just wanted to share.
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yeah, that's a big reason why i don't oppose cis people crossdressing (outside of really specific cases like when it's a minstrelsy-esque transphobic joke). eggs need spaces where they can experiment before they've begun to figure themselves out and that necessairly means that these spaces need to be open to cis people. simply because trans people at that stage think of themselves as cis.
like i said, i don't find this to be a bad thing in itself. after a lifetime of being confronted with gender-policing toxic masculinity in a gender role i could never possibly fulfill, i got a fairly good understanding of what gnc cis dudes have to go through. i know what it's like when people constantly call you the f slur when you're not even a gay dude, simply for acting and feeling more feminine than you're supposed to. story of my life. and i know there's cis dudes who are a lot girlier than me and get heckled nonstop for that. that has to end. it's a vicious, hurtful system that on top of all the damage it does to men (and to pre-transition AMAB people) constantly breeds even more harm by nudging men towards more sexist, more queerphobic, more violent and destructive behavior.
so i'd say that solidarity with gnc cishets is in order. they are our siblings in the struggle against the patriarchal-cishetnormative superstructure. i just wonder if it's appropriate to group them under the LGBT+ umbrella or if that should be a different community where they can organize for themselves and then cooperate with the LGBT community, in the same way there's, say, feminist communities outside of the queer community. what i'm asking is: if they define themselves as cishet, do they even see themselves as a queer group? or is being cishet something of an antithesis to being queer and therefore to being part of the LGBT+ community?