a lot of them are closeted trans people who need the opportunity to experiment with their presentation to realize

yeah, that's a big reason why i don't oppose cis people crossdressing (outside of really specific cases like when it's a minstrelsy-esque transphobic joke). eggs need spaces where they can experiment before they've begun to figure themselves out and that necessairly means that these spaces need to be open to cis people. simply because trans people at that stage think of themselves as cis.

like i said, i don't find this to be a bad thing in itself. after a lifetime of being confronted with gender-policing toxic masculinity in a gender role i could never possibly fulfill, i got a fairly good understanding of what gnc cis dudes have to go through. i know what it's like when people constantly call you the f slur when you're not even a gay dude, simply for acting and feeling more feminine than you're supposed to. story of my life. and i know there's cis dudes who are a lot girlier than me and get heckled nonstop for that. that has to end. it's a vicious, hurtful system that on top of all the damage it does to men (and to pre-transition AMAB people) constantly breeds even more harm by nudging men towards more sexist, more queerphobic, more violent and destructive behavior.

so i'd say that solidarity with gnc cishets is in order. they are our siblings in the struggle against the patriarchal-cishetnormative superstructure. i just wonder if it's appropriate to group them under the LGBT+ umbrella or if that should be a different community where they can organize for themselves and then cooperate with the LGBT community, in the same way there's, say, feminist communities outside of the queer community. what i'm asking is: if they define themselves as cishet, do they even see themselves as a queer group? or is being cishet something of an antithesis to being queer and therefore to being part of the LGBT+ community?