My a/c is out and it's been getting over 90 degrees in my apartment, so I asked him to stop by and make sure my kitty was all good. I just got home a little while ago and went to pack a bowl, and my bag of weed paraphernalia was all tossed around. The ziplock bag was open and the rolling plate, grinder, bowl, lighters, and bud were thrown in there in a way I normally don't put them in. He's literally as evangelical conservative as you can get, and he's scolded his adult children for drinking or smoking weed in their own homes. So I cleaned up and put away any vapes, beer cans, lighters, etc. so he wouldn't see them. I'm really shocked he didn't bring it up to me, but I'm really pissed that he went through my cupboards and took all the stuff out. I just wanted him to stop by and check on my cat, but he invaded my privacy on top of that.
None of this really matters, I just needed to vent.
It matters, comrade :meow-hug: that's really shitty and disrespectful of him, and he doesn't have the right to violate your privacy just because you asked him to check on your cat
It sucks not being treated like a full adult human with rights and preferences by your parents. It's a particular kind of infantilizing that betrays how they see you as their property. Ngl that's a huge part of why I cut contact with mine.
If I were in your position I'd pull him aside and tell him very seriously that if he wants to smoke your weed he needs to ask first, and remind him that it's impolite to go through people's things, like you're the one parenting him. Play that uno reverse card to catch him off guard
Love and solidarity from the shitty parents club :stalin-heart:
Thank you so much, comrade. I'm sorry that you've gone through the same thing, it's really shitty. I hope you're doing better after cutting ties with them. I've never felt like an autonomous adult my entire life because he's always there, judging how I spend my money, disapproving of my non-religion, criticizing my mental shortcomings. It does some damage to someone's confidence!
He's moving to a different state soon, so I'll finally have some breathing room. I'm actually a little scared about not having any parents left near me, though. But I'll just have to reach out and re-establish old connections and make some new friends, and I'll have a support network again.
That's great, sounds like it'll be a healthy change for you even if it'll be a bit of an adjustment! Hope that goes well, and hope he's less of an asshole in the meantime :meow-hug:
Thank you! :meow-hug: