I have never understood this joke. Growing up I never heard my Pops say anything like that even jokingly (though he would often say she wouldn't let him buy dumb stuff but that was the extent of it). However it's super common in older media and culture and is still notice able in contemporary times. I even hear from guys around my age who in their late 20s to mid 30s in break room chats. I haven't noticed a national or race trend either, it seems to be from dudes of every background.
Is marriage that soul crushing that you resent your partner?
Is it a "pressure release valve" sorta thing about monogamy? Is it actually something people feel? Do guys feel trapped somehow or are just realizing they live unfulfilling lives and project that on to their partners? If that's the case it's kinda weird, like your wife is supposedly the love your life and I would assume you'd really like them.
I remember hearing at lot at my Men's group at my church when I was an early teen. "Upstanding, moral, virtuous Christian men™️©️®️" just kinda openly saying stuff like and pretty much everyone saying "lmao same" (or the time appropriate equivalent).
I see it a lot in movies too. Tons of films are about guys secretly pining for someone else or just resolved to live their lot with some they feel hinders them.
I remember reading the book " Bowling Alone " which lacked any real material analysis of social conditions but it mentioned that men's groups were guys would go to escape their marriage for a bit. While I understand it's important to have your own friends and social groups, the idea it's describe "escape" seems like it's an unpleasant space to be in. Has patriarchy created marriage into prison were men are both the jailed and jailor like it has for many other things in men's lives?
Do dudes really loathe their partners this much?
My wife and I have a pretty great relationship for all intents and purposes; but I'll say this: In America, your significant other is often your one and only friends. Like if you think about how many people get into a relationship and then disappear from their previous social groups, now imagine that in steroids. Dinners with the wife, waking up every day and spending time with the wife, then you have kids. And depending on whether you have a support network, you might not even have those bonding moments alone — not to mention most men are incredibly shitty at helping around the house. Even myself: who does laundry, bathes the kids, changes them, puts them to bed, reads them books, cleans after myself, and does the dishes, still manage to grate her nerves because I leave cups in the wrong place or sometimes I take my socks off and don't pick them up — and not everything I do is to her standard.
Most men do not do this. They do not help with the children. They do not handle their finances well. They don't do chores. So imagine how terrible a fucking marriage is when one person does all of the important household chores AND goes to work (because who the fuck can afford a single-income living) and the other partner merely goes to work and is a fucking pig and a manchild that needs to be looked after with the same intensity as a teenager. And that teenager also wants to fuck you after a long day, and try whatever new sexual fetish or perversion they picked up from efukt.com or :reddit-logo:.
You'd go insane, probably be loud and moody, and refuse to put up with their shit after a while. Maybe they are lucky enough to escape the marriage; maybe they finally go to therapy and work things out; maybe she slowly poisons her husband and makes off as a rich widow. But no, oftentimes, they just live with each other, torment each other in silent fury, until all they know is disgust when they see each other. So yeah these :grillman: end up thinking it's all the woman's fault. That they are moody, and bitchy, and a ball and chain. And they escape to other men who won't be like, "jeez man have you tried doing the dishes, and cleaning after yourself you fucking pig?"
Source: My dad is this exact type of asshole.
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Managing a household is super important. I learned a lot about that from my mom who did everything. Emotional stuff I had learn through my own experiences and relationships as my parents didn’t have a good relationship.
I am biologically related to misogynistic manchildren that can't even wipe the sink after shaving. I'm glad I don't have to live with them, but the last time I visited, sure enough, sink full of shaving scum, then T H E W I F E going in to clean up after him later. :grillman:
Hear hear!