I'm married and unfortunately for my poor wife I have some kind of hole in my brain that doesn't allow me to notice or care about things being tidy or organized. I'll often get asked why I didn't pick up the trash that was in my path through the apartment or if I noticed the garbage is getting piled up.
I will always do chores when asked, I have no objection to handling the necessary labor of managing a household. The problem is my wife doesn't want to have to ask and I want her to be happier.
I often will try to motivate myself to take stock of each room I'm in before i leave and try to leave it cleaner but after maybe a day or two it's out of my mind. I just don't get any dopamine from things being clean and it's hard to form a habit.
Before I lived with someone else I basically never cleaned until it was severely impacting my daily life, did a big clean that took like an entire weekend, then just let it get just as bad.
How does one break this kind of behaviour? Some kind of shock therapy? Am I a lost cause? My current plan is to write a list of chores and things to check after work before settling in for the night but I'm skeptical as it's not the first chore list I've made.
Start with an entire weekend clean, and then as much as it sucks just maintain it. Wash those dishes. Put them away. Same for the laundry, likewise put it away.
The goal is to have a place for everything (that isn't the table or the floor or the chair) and to make sure that once they're no longer in use theyre put away. This is the habit, the daily behaviour you need to encourage, the rest (actually cleaning) comes after. This keeps your surfaces clear and tidy, and allows you to then actually clean and wipe your surfaces come the weekend.
also put things in the bin and empty the bin when it's full just do it
This will go in the making a list category and I will first do the big clean. Thank you
The main issue isn't doing the chores, my wife asks me to do them and they get done. It's being able to see when things need doing on my own.