When I was a preteen on /pol/ there was a serious fetish for showing affection to your fellow posters, calling each other 'brother' and other cheesy shit. I thought when I was a stupid little fuck that these people really cared for me and wanted to know what I had to say, then I became a leftist and I never felt that again. I've never been part of any leftist community or project where I felt like people gave enough of a shit about me to forgive even a minor transgression. I feel similarly cold about these people who I am around. Its like in a heist movie where all the characters are brought together for a common goal and once they accomplish it they promise to never speak again. Anyone else feel this?
This is why I've always avoided scenes, and people for the most part. A dry and deeply ironic sense of humour combined with not being super open about my sexuality left me feeling isolated. Only really had one good friend and felt like a pretender elsewhere because I feared being ejected from any group I became a part of as I'd seen it happen from the sidelines too many times.