American history:

The noble settlers first arrived to the completely deserted and empty Americas in the 16th century. However, they were quickly subjugated by the oppressive British regime, with horrors such as "please wait another few months before you do your next massacre we're not ready to break our treaty yet" uhh something something freedom. Everyday people? Uh, well, obviously the immense suffering endured by the aristocrats is of far more importance. Slaves? Is that like, a brand of coffee? Anyway, George Washington fell out of heaven one day and told King George he didn't like tea. This made him very upset so he ordered his troops to do the Boston Massacre. Washington, however, quickly formed the Continental Army, composed of seven people and their dogs, and defeated the British army in a few days because they just couldn't suppress the 'Murican spirit. Tactics? I don't know what you're talking about. The colonists won because God made it happen. After this, everyone lived happily ever after under their God-ordained freedoms. There were some wars here and there leading up to 2001, when 9/11 happened, wherein the evil muslamic terrorists destroyed the beautiful twin towers for no reason other than their hatred of our freedom. We quickly put those Arabs in their place though. God bless America!