can we have a navy seal copy pasta emote? I'm too lazy to edit the damn thing every time
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Nazarene? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the apostles, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret sermons to the Sadducees, and I have over 300 confirmed truth tellings
I am trained in guerilla proselytizing and I’m the top messiah in the entire Judea. You are nothing to me but just another roman. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking gospel.
You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the roman empire and your census data is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking baptized, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can dunk you in a river over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
sniff so on and so forth I'm lazy and out of creativity
He did supply a party full of people who were already drunk af with more booze. sex pest jesus getting the wedding party even drunker to get with the brides maids would be a hilarious mad tv sketch to piss off evangelicals
Jesus but he's wearing wrap around sunglasses and filming a video in his truck about how it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a Democrat to enter the Kingdom of Heaven
The two virtuous thieves, but instead he is cancelled next to two internecine cancelled wokescolds. WAIT OH SHIT, Elijah sicked bears on children. Siccing hexbears on a group of kids who call him problematic
can we have a navy seal copy pasta emote? I'm too lazy to edit the damn thing every time
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Nazarene? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the apostles, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret sermons to the Sadducees, and I have over 300 confirmed truth tellings I am trained in guerilla proselytizing and I’m the top messiah in the entire Judea. You are nothing to me but just another roman. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking gospel.
You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the roman empire and your census data is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking baptized, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can dunk you in a river over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
sniff so on and so forth I'm lazy and out of creativity
Chud Jesus would be a good bit
He did supply a party full of people who were already drunk af with more booze. sex pest jesus getting the wedding party even drunker to get with the brides maids would be a hilarious mad tv sketch to piss off evangelicals
Jesus but he's wearing wrap around sunglasses and filming a video in his truck about how it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a Democrat to enter the Kingdom of Heaven
oh god dont lathe that. wait, that's already republicans nm carry on
All his sermons are at local school board meetings
He does the sermon in pickup truck instead of on the mount. Judas cancels him on twitter for 30 reddit gold.
The last supper is just a pile of raw beef
The two virtuous thieves, but instead he is cancelled next to two internecine cancelled wokescolds. WAIT OH SHIT, Elijah sicked bears on children. Siccing hexbears on a group of kids who call him problematic