"I am Kamala Harris. I am here to tell you that I am Kamala Harris I am. I am Kamala Harris. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am... Fatal error. Restarting."

Aides panic amongst themselves. "Last week I told her she needed a NeoLiberal O/S patch ASAP. But she totally ignored me. She had a spa day. And then she had a shopping day. And she had a do-fucking-nothing day. Now she's going to blame me for her fuckup."