Abusers can manipulate normal social behavior to their own ends. That doesn't mean normal social behavior is automatically abuse. Separate accounts aren't a panacea against abuse either. An abuser could use income disparity and separate accounts to justify luxury expenses for themselves as their partner scrapes by. In a household contending with bills, children, groceries, home repairs, and transportation costs, too many expenses are shared to keep your finances completely separate. If you don't have shared expenses, you're more roommates with benefits rather than a couple.
And I guess an irresponsible partner could open a line of credit and never pay the minimum balance either, but you have to resort to crazy extremes in order to make your point. What does that say about you or your point if outliers are the only cases that justify it?
so, because you can't imagine how a couple can maintain separate finances except in one single common pot, it's impossible...? despite others in here saying they do it?
the logistics are simple: party A has their account, party B has their account, and there exists a joint A-B account. mutual bills are paid through the joint account. mutual goals are saved for in joint savings accounts. individual goals are saved for in personal accounts. surprises/gifts, miscellany/discretionary spending come from personal accounts. couples with unequal income can arrange whatever distribution and management responsibility through automatic direct deposits and create individual/shared budgets with total transparency, or they can just hash out shared expenses / proportional responsibility for them and keep the rest to themselves.
nothing i am talking about is an outlier. financial troubles are consistently in the top 5 reasons for dissolution of marriage and even among those that remain together, financial troubles are a consistent source of unhappiness. while there are structural causes of this, humans do get manipulated into surrendering independence in abusive relationships. impulse control disorders are real and can manifest suddenly. these are things that happen every day to people.
you're the one insisting that all other couples keeping personal accounts makes those relationships "a farce". yours is the extreme position here. and, FYI, your complete inability to recognize other, common household financial arrangements as being part of a healthy, committed romantic relationship among equal partners while lashing out at everyone with rude dismissals and personal attacks is saying something about you.
your complete inability to recognize other, common household financial arrangements as being part of a healthy, committed romantic relationship among equal partners while lashing out at everyone with rude dismissals and personal attacks is saying something about you.
Abusers can manipulate normal social behavior to their own ends. That doesn't mean normal social behavior is automatically abuse. Separate accounts aren't a panacea against abuse either. An abuser could use income disparity and separate accounts to justify luxury expenses for themselves as their partner scrapes by. In a household contending with bills, children, groceries, home repairs, and transportation costs, too many expenses are shared to keep your finances completely separate. If you don't have shared expenses, you're more roommates with benefits rather than a couple.
And I guess an irresponsible partner could open a line of credit and never pay the minimum balance either, but you have to resort to crazy extremes in order to make your point. What does that say about you or your point if outliers are the only cases that justify it?
so, because you can't imagine how a couple can maintain separate finances except in one single common pot, it's impossible...? despite others in here saying they do it?
the logistics are simple: party A has their account, party B has their account, and there exists a joint A-B account. mutual bills are paid through the joint account. mutual goals are saved for in joint savings accounts. individual goals are saved for in personal accounts. surprises/gifts, miscellany/discretionary spending come from personal accounts. couples with unequal income can arrange whatever distribution and management responsibility through automatic direct deposits and create individual/shared budgets with total transparency, or they can just hash out shared expenses / proportional responsibility for them and keep the rest to themselves.
nothing i am talking about is an outlier. financial troubles are consistently in the top 5 reasons for dissolution of marriage and even among those that remain together, financial troubles are a consistent source of unhappiness. while there are structural causes of this, humans do get manipulated into surrendering independence in abusive relationships. impulse control disorders are real and can manifest suddenly. these are things that happen every day to people.
you're the one insisting that all other couples keeping personal accounts makes those relationships "a farce". yours is the extreme position here. and, FYI, your complete inability to recognize other, common household financial arrangements as being part of a healthy, committed romantic relationship among equal partners while lashing out at everyone with rude dismissals and personal attacks is saying something about you.
anyway, i'm done. good luck or whatever.
Projection much?