Ouy bruvs, it's me, Wahn Godreoh here to step up and take charge.

I've been ghouling since I shagged marmalade-slathered crumpets.

When I heard the news my good friend Boris Johnson is retiring, I nearly halted my Union Jacking off into my mid-morning tea, but God save the queen if I don't manage to make the tea go down with a little bit of cream.

Can't wait to lead all you gents.