i've been on the receiving end of violence from women. i have absolutely been white knuckle terrified of being killed by a woman i was in an intimate relationship with. it's not something one sees coming. one minute you're with someone on a team, the next you're seeing the danger right next to you, trapping you.
spoiler alert: i got away. when i ended things with her soon after, over the phone from 30 miles away, i made it seems like it was generally amicable. i constructed a story of my own emotional unavailability, because it was plausible and i could come across as unhappy. i told our mutual friends it was about some vague incompatibility, because i was not looking to be invalidated or worse when any accusation got back to her. it's been years now and i have surgically removed any social threads connecting us so as to create the perception our estrangement was natural and unintentional.
i never told anyone except a guy i've known for 20+ years who went through something similar more recently and was spiraling about how to process it. i'm grateful he reached out when he did. it sucks because suddenly fearing for your life sucks, but the extra layer of knowing in your bones that many of those close to you would dismiss your experience, explain it away as your misunderstanding, and default to taking the side of your abuser. my heart goes out to anyone who has lived this experience as any gender.
i don't even like the general topic coming up among friends, because it makes me upset when people i am close to can't wrap their mind around the concept, in the abstract, that anyone who has access to a motor vehicle can kill someone. or that anyone of any size can physically hurt and deeply traumatize someone who trusts them with violence or the threat of violence. because that's what trust is: making yourself vulnerable to another.
this phrase can die a thousand deaths. men might be conditioned by patriarchy to pretend women can't hurt or kill men, but fear has a way of continuing to exist underneath self-deception.
this phrase can die a thousand deaths. men might be conditioned by patriarchy to pretend women can’t hurt or kill men, but fear has a way of continuing to exist underneath self-deception.
Seconding this to say that I was once in an abusive relationship with a woman who was physically violent and threatened to call the cops on me for domestic abuse if I tried to break up with her.
This sort of thing is a really clear example of how toxic masculinity also hurts men.
Many, many women are that last one, I was blown away when I would mention this and shit would end immediately. My current girlfriend actually had a negative/confused reaction to me being bi, she went and talked to her about it, who told her to dump me immediately! She did not though.
But yes, by all means I still told every woman I dated that I was bi anyway just because if it's gonna be a problem then we should just end it. Haven't dated in years though so maybe it's gotten better
Not really? They could have just as easily made a list that is like idk:
The dating pool for young men is literally
girls who feel like they need to be in a relationship because they're terrified of being alone
girls who are way too into astrology, tarot, and other bullshit metaphysics
girls who are narcissists
girls with crippling co dependence issues
girls who claim to be feminist but still want their male partners to conform to strict male gender codes and
girls who find bisexual men distasteful/ are extremely homophobic (more of them than you think believe me, even girls who seem "woke")
Everyone is being fucked up by capitalism and shit so 🤷♂️
To be fair at least the girls probably won't kill you
Exactly!
My first thought when I read that was that it's pretty true but then well I could just come up with a list of problems about women.
Yeah this is the only big difference imo
“Men are scared women will laugh in their face, women are scared it’s their lives men will take”
:I-was-saying:
i've been on the receiving end of violence from women. i have absolutely been white knuckle terrified of being killed by a woman i was in an intimate relationship with. it's not something one sees coming. one minute you're with someone on a team, the next you're seeing the danger right next to you, trapping you.
spoiler alert: i got away. when i ended things with her soon after, over the phone from 30 miles away, i made it seems like it was generally amicable. i constructed a story of my own emotional unavailability, because it was plausible and i could come across as unhappy. i told our mutual friends it was about some vague incompatibility, because i was not looking to be invalidated or worse when any accusation got back to her. it's been years now and i have surgically removed any social threads connecting us so as to create the perception our estrangement was natural and unintentional.
i never told anyone except a guy i've known for 20+ years who went through something similar more recently and was spiraling about how to process it. i'm grateful he reached out when he did. it sucks because suddenly fearing for your life sucks, but the extra layer of knowing in your bones that many of those close to you would dismiss your experience, explain it away as your misunderstanding, and default to taking the side of your abuser. my heart goes out to anyone who has lived this experience as any gender.
i don't even like the general topic coming up among friends, because it makes me upset when people i am close to can't wrap their mind around the concept, in the abstract, that anyone who has access to a motor vehicle can kill someone. or that anyone of any size can physically hurt and deeply traumatize someone who trusts them with violence or the threat of violence. because that's what trust is: making yourself vulnerable to another.
this phrase can die a thousand deaths. men might be conditioned by patriarchy to pretend women can't hurt or kill men, but fear has a way of continuing to exist underneath self-deception.
Seconding this to say that I was once in an abusive relationship with a woman who was physically violent and threatened to call the cops on me for domestic abuse if I tried to break up with her.
This sort of thing is a really clear example of how toxic masculinity also hurts men.
Many, many women are that last one, I was blown away when I would mention this and shit would end immediately. My current girlfriend actually had a negative/confused reaction to me being bi, she went and talked to her about it, who told her to dump me immediately! She did not though.
But yes, by all means I still told every woman I dated that I was bi anyway just because if it's gonna be a problem then we should just end it. Haven't dated in years though so maybe it's gotten better
:sadness:
Talked to her what?
My girlfriend talked to her sister who told her to dump me
Gotcha. Screw biphobes.
Friend, I assume?
yeah this is sadly true, there are just as many men like this too.