According to their app, a round trip from Beijing to SFO is EIGHTEEN THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS for basic economy. Beijing to Newark is 9000. According to Expedia, Beijing to SFO through Newark is 2700 for basic economy. Apparently going halfway around the world and adding a transcontinental flight on the end reduces your ticket price by 15000 dollars?
If you have health insurance, just go to the doctor and say you just cant stop shidding and get a note saying you have medically diagnosed doodoo ass.
If you don't have health insurance, live stream the doodoo for an alibi.