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  • SadStruggle92 [none/use name]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I feel like the question needs to be asked; exactly how normal are "lonely young men" these days, anyways?

    Even so... The main difference in being understood to be the latter over the former does seem to boil down to how much one believes their isolation to be a social problem, rather than the place they simply naturally ought to inhabit.

    At least, that's what I see.

    • DivineChaos100 [none/use name]
      ·
      2 years ago

      No, the main difference is whether you see solely others as the reason of you being lonely or not. People who like to be alone won't ask for a "young beautiful virgin".

      Not getting laid is not a social problem. It's not even a problem in the first place.

      • SadStruggle92 [none/use name]
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        No, the main difference is whether you see solely others as the reason of you being lonely or not.

        How would one go about ascribing their own social isolation to social causes in a way that is legitimate to you? Or is it just that you reject out of hand that there are any illegitimate causes for the social isolation of young men?

        People who like to be alone won’t ask for a “young beautiful virgin”.

        I mean, I also wouldn't.

        Not getting laid is not a social problem. It’s not even a problem in the first place.

        I have to say that I think that this point is kind of an irreconcilable disagreement. I think that if a given set of people cannot engage in basic human social activities, then that's both a problem & potentially a social one.

        Like most, I think this is primarily a problem rooted in the class system though.

        • DivineChaos100 [none/use name]
          ·
          2 years ago

          How would one go about ascribing their own social isolation to social causes in a way that is legitimate to you? Or is it just that you reject out of hand that there are any illegitimate causes for the social isolation of young men?

          No? The meme is about people who blame women solely for their own isolation. Period. So if you want to ascribe your social isolation don't do it by asking someone who wants to help to give you a "free beautiful girlfriend". That's all there is to it.

          I have to say that I think that this point is kind of an irreconcilable disagreement. I think that if a given set of people cannot engage in basic human social activities, then that’s both a problem & potentially a social one.

          I mean yeah, i don't consider sex as a basic social activity for some time and my life has been infinitely better since then so there indeed is a vast difference between us.

          • SadStruggle92 [none/use name]
            ·
            2 years ago

            So if you want to ascribe your social isolation don’t do it by asking someone who wants to help to give you a “free beautiful girlfriend”. That’s all there is to it.

            I mean, that's fair.

            I mean yeah, i don’t consider sex as a basic social activity for some time and my life has been infinitely better since then so there indeed is a vast difference between us.

            Well, my perspective on this is that when I was much, much younger (about mid-elementary) I very deliberately made the choice to limit my exposure & interactions with other people, on the basis that I felt that since nobody was ever gonna be my friend anyways, it would be less painful not to bother trying. I also applied that rationale to a number of things, from my physical fitness, to eventually my actual schoolwork. Obviously none of that ever made me any less miserable. It, of course, only ever made me more isolated, unhealthy, and unaccomplished; until at 25 I was a nearly 400lb autistic (I mean that medically btw) NEET with no friends, no life, and no future whatsoever.

            Now I have made changes to that, I've since lost more than 200lbs, and when my body is physically able (right now I'm recovering from a broken knee) I work a job making car-parts, and lift weights/jog 3-5 days a week; I'm also in the middle of trying to run a TTRPG game online, and such. I have also pursued psychiatric therapy to I think somewhat mixed results; I've actually been medicated most my life & I was actually in classes for students w/ emotional impairments in elementary on account of my diagnosis, my home-life, and my general demeanor causing significant problems in my education. I don't think that it was actually a good environment though as the teachers were often strict to the point of being physically abusive I think; I also haven't been able to maintain my medication or other treatment lately on account of my normal work schedule & other matters making time scarce.

            The point I'm getting at here is that I know from experience that I could "choose to believe" that I don't actually need certain things to be happy, or at least content in life. I also know for a fact that for me personally that would actually be a lie, and that I would be significantly more miserable not trying to pursue them, and ideally achieving them, than I would not doing so.

        • fratsarerats [none/use name]
          ·
          2 years ago

          I have to say that I think that this point is kind of an irreconcilable disagreement. I think that if a given set of people cannot engage in basic human social activities, then that’s both a problem & potentially a social one.

          I hate to say it, but any kind of solution to the problem of lonely men isn't going to come from the West (or from leftists in the West). I think it's going to come from the comrades in the Global South. I'm curious how China is going to handle its surplus of men (https://jezebel.com/china-and-india-have-a-man-surplus-and-its-as-dire-as-i-1825360810). I seriously doubt they're gonna do what I see most on here and other mostly western leftists do (i.e. respond with ridicule but no tangible solutions, just platitudes of "be yourself").

      • fratsarerats [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Not getting laid is not a social problem. It’s not even a problem in the first place.

        I mean, this is what capitalists/reactionaries/bootlickers say about all sorts of things, like representation in media, realistic beauty standards, healthcare, gainful/meaningful employment, etc.