like I don't wanna be mr cracker callin cops but say you hear your neighbor bang on his front door so loud it shakes your apartment 3 rooms away, you hear him inside yelling with a woman, hard to tell what they say, but you clearly hear "get out of my face" from her, and either "give me my keys" or "give me my kids" (but wtf???) from her, shouting, and then pounding like someone is being flung around the room

is this cop time? do cops make things worse? is this "just talk to your neighbors" time even though the clear and present threat of violence is there?? I literally do not know what to do. I panicked, I called the cops, I think they literally just talked to the guy and then left.. idk what the alternative would be, I can't just get the woman alone to ask if she's okay when the dude's almost always there, guy is like 7 foot fuck,

e: I don't know how to reconcile "all cops suck they make everything worse" with not wanting to be a fucking bystander when someone is potentially (from all the sensory information I can gather) getting beaten by their partner

  • cozy [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    what is the deal with hexbear encouraging people to call the cops? it is not okay. you did not do the right thing. look at what happened: a bunch of thumbs with guns showed up, decided "this is no worse than what I do to my wife at home," and left. if it was an abuse situation that needed intervention, they did objectively nothing to help, as you ought to have expected. and that woman would have been horrified to see the cops show up, knowing that she'd have to pay for her partner's doubled wrath later.

    I understand that you felt powerless in a shitty situation and wanted to do something, but landing on "I should call the police, they will help me" is a mad mayo thing to think. you need to step up your game, those are rookie levels of cop-loathing.

    • MattsAlt [comrade/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      So OP should have done nothing? Or they should have gone to the door alone against someone who is obviously violent and bigger than them and done what? They have no power to make the abuser stop and instead just paint a target on their back.

      The chances the cops arrest the guy are about zero, but it seems incredibly unlikely that he goes back to assaulting her the same night after someone just called the cops from the noise.

      I hate the cops as much as anyone here, but unless you're the biggest guy in the apartment by a substantial margin or have a large group of fellow renters to confront him, what is the recourse outside of letting it happen and hoping he doesn't kill her?

      • cozy [she/her]
        ·
        2 years ago

        the only benefit you can possibly claim is that the police stopped the violence this one time. the problem with that is that it enrages abusers because it makes them feel powerless. he would seethe at the humiliation of having to yes-sir a bunch of cops and be even more likely to kill her the next time. you can try to intervene every time, but once you add in the risk of having cops around, you're way in the red.

        in terms of constructive suggestions, you can:

        1. decide that it's not your problem. do nothing and hope that he doesn't kill her. or,
        2. knock on their door yourself. imo you pretty much have to do this if she starts screaming. if you have a relationship with your neighbors, knock on at least one other door first and ask for them to join you. tell the guy to knock it off, or push your way past him and try to get to her and ask if she needs help.

        both of these options are strictly better for everyone than calling the police

        • MattsAlt [comrade/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Certainly a difficult situation to handle in our atomized and pig filled world. Ideally this is a scenario that encourages OP to find a few neighbors who would help confront the guy in the future because that is 100 % the best course of action.

          • Ligma_Male [comrade/them]
            ·
            2 years ago

            in fact, OP should talk to the other neighbors now so they have a plan for the next incident. If neighbors want to call the pigs remind them how long it took them to show up and how much damage an abuser can do in that time.

        • usa_suxxx [they/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          decide that it’s not your problem. do nothing and hope that he doesn’t kill her. or,

          A very loose definition of constructive

          • cozy [she/her]
            ·
            2 years ago

            constructive, adj. definition:

            strictly better for everyone than calling the police

    • BolsheWitch [she/her, they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      what is the deal with hexbear encouraging people to call the cops?

      thank you for your take on hexbear, new account made 3 days ago

      also :acab-3: . Calling them is not a good idea though imho

    • pppp1000 [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I don't know why they're piling on you when all you have said makes more sense than their reasoning.

      The cops shows up. Probably asks some questions about domestic disturbance and leaves. The guy thinks his partner called the pigs and beats them up more(if they were beating them up in the first place). All I am getting from OP is shouting. Or if they were poc then the pigs shoot first. Like that hasn't happened before.

      "I panicked and call the cops" is a big lib move when OP didn't even go there and talked to the people involved. If OP is scared then they could have asked their other neighbors. A big lib move since it could have got people killed.

        • Lussy [any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          They may beat you, they’ll probably call you slurs, but some countries put in a little more effort than Americans

          this idea that acab should only apply to America is dangerous bullshit.

        • pppp1000 [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          We don't know if the OP is American or not unless they said it somewhere. Calling the cops without understanding what is even going on without talking to the people involved(again the OP can ask the other neighbors to come along) is a surefire way to get someone potentially killed. You do more harm than good unless it's an absolute life and death situation like a standoff and even then pigs have done more harm than good.

      • cozy [she/her]
        ·
        2 years ago

        of course you can't blame the victim for anything they do in that situation. but it should be their choice unless their life is in danger. I've been in that place of a busybody calling the police and having armed men stomp in full of concern. it's humiliating to be put in that position of being extremely vulnerable but having to put on a brave face and explain "no no I'm fine, it was just a misunderstanding, I'm sorry, I'm okay."

        also, acab isn't just a slogan, it's a deep, learned revulsion. if everything I owned were stolen (which isn't much) I wouldn't go to the police. if I were assaulted, I wouldn't go to the police. it has nothing to do with leftist principles, it has to do with seeing them as murdering, wifebeating pieces of shit who will not help me and will probably just make things worse.