On one hand it makes sense that medieval european social relations imply, well, medieval european social relations and it makes sense to use your novel (or your show) to examine those.
On the other I can relate to many people wanting to see women in medieval fantasy to be represented in some other way than constant misery porn.
I totally agree. Not a fan of the show at all, but really enjoyed the books. I felt like the books used the medieval society as a way to explore trauma, misogyny, and marginslized people. Or can certainly be read that way, regardless of how the author may or may not have meant anything. I was dealing with past trauma at the time, and found it useful how many of the characters reflected different ways of dealing with trauma
I agree I also found it quite cathartic at helping cope with trauma