I am vaguely sympathetic to that take. Not because I think it's correct, it's completely wrong, but I think that (Mostly baseless conjecture from someone with no experience inbound) the reason that many people say this is to make sense of a traumatic experience. That by telling yourself that it has value you can write it off as a growing experience; because when you get RID of that, what you have is someone you are supposed to trust physically assaulting you for no morally or scientifically justifiable reason, frequently on a repeat basis. And knowing that all of that didn't actually MEAN anything but fear and trauma is a lot harder of a pill to swallow than saying "well it was painful and scary but it made me a better person"
yeah, I should have rephrased that. It's not the TAKE that I'm sympathetic to, but the person who I feel says it and probably doesn't realize what they're REALLY saying
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"You didn't turn out fine if you think beating kids is good."
I am vaguely sympathetic to that take. Not because I think it's correct, it's completely wrong, but I think that (Mostly baseless conjecture from someone with no experience inbound) the reason that many people say this is to make sense of a traumatic experience. That by telling yourself that it has value you can write it off as a growing experience; because when you get RID of that, what you have is someone you are supposed to trust physically assaulting you for no morally or scientifically justifiable reason, frequently on a repeat basis. And knowing that all of that didn't actually MEAN anything but fear and trauma is a lot harder of a pill to swallow than saying "well it was painful and scary but it made me a better person"
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yeah, I should have rephrased that. It's not the TAKE that I'm sympathetic to, but the person who I feel says it and probably doesn't realize what they're REALLY saying
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Its always that exact same line too. "I turned out fine!" No you didn't