I've been re-inspired by some immigrant coworkers to affirm something I already suspected: having bigger households with multiple working people in them makes surviving and saving way easier ($3 million Retirement Thread looms menacingly). I wanna grill through the apocalypse with my 2-5 partners cause my actual family ain't shit. And I'm genuinely tired of people just being uninvested in relationships in general. It feels like most of them are really inwardly focused and only really care about what they're doing or their own aesthetic preferences.
I mean, you can have roommates that you don't fuck.
I've got a number of friends who routinely joke-but-kinda-seriously about fucking off and starting a commune together. We're all in committed relationships and only get to hang out periodically on the weekends. Would be nice to just be in, like, a single big house or even just a village together. Somewhere that we don't have to drive 15 miles to see one another.
I don't think I've seen a roommate situation last more than a couple years. Doesn't seem to be enough of a relationship to overcome the "fuck you, me first" mentality I see in a lot of people where they just kinda...move on when things don't serve them anymore.
I've also thought about the commune thing, but the general consensus I've heard from former commune people is "DON'T". A normal house in a normal neighborhood sounds fine, tbh. Also, I just kinda like being in love as a general...human thing. Poly love just always made more sense to me than monogamy. I just use the financials to justify it to myself intellectually.
I mean, I roomed with an old high school buddy for about five years. The only reason I moved out was because I got engaged. Then he met a girl and moved to Austin and started his own family.
Poly love just always made more sense to me than monogamy. I just use the financials to justify it to myself intellectually.
I can hardly knock that. Just don't understand how polygamy makes things any less complicated. But maybe folks into poly relationships are just more likely to be compatible in big households. Idk. I dated non-monogomously for a while, but quickly discovered that having any two people I was dating at the same time in the same room together was a terrible idea.
The only reason I moved out was because I got engaged. Then he met a girl and moved to Austin and started his own family.
Congrats on the engagement/marriage, but this is kinda illustrating my point. Modern nuclear family structures send people flying off away from any kind of stable extended family or friendships. It doesn't feel like an isolated thing either, I've gathered from quite a lot of people I've talked to and conversations I've overheard that most peoples' former social networks span across the whole continent.
I dated non-monogomously for a while, but quickly discovered that having any two people I was dating at the same time in the same room together was a terrible idea.
That's fair. Tbh, I feel compersion pretty strongly, so I don't have any issues with that myself. I'm happy to meet the people that the people I like...like. When others feel the need to make a big deal out of secrets and keeping all their boxes separate I'm just like :blob-no-thoughts:
Modern nuclear family structures send people flying off away from any kind of stable extended family or friendships.
Until he got a job in Austin, we were within five minutes of one another and continued to hang out regularly. But yes, I agree that it would have been nice to just continuously cohabitant indefinitely.
I’m happy to meet the people that the people I like…like.
I might feel the same way if I ever dated someone who was looking to juggle multiple boyfriends. But the handful of girls I knew that were like that never seemed interested in me, while the girls who did click tended to be much more territorial.
Less "keeping secrets" and more "if I have to look at that bitch again, I'm going to scratch her eyes out" energy.
Maybe I’m too dumb for monogamy to make sense
Ha. From where I'm sitting, seeing successful polygamy is like watching a clown casually keeping a dozen colored balls in the air while balanced on a unicycle. I have no idea how it works and just assume anyone in that kind of relationship is some kind of major league professional dating wizard.
I know I'm in the minority here but I can't imagine liking someone enough to want to be friends with them without also being interested in fucking them. Tbh I don't think that platonic/romantic/sexual love are really different things.
I mean, finding someone "hot" and being interested in having sex with them aren't the same thing. You can have enjoyable sex with people you wouldn't consider hot. Sex is a fun game for one or more players, I wouldn't pass up the opportunity if someone I like asks me to play it with them.
When I put Polyamorous on my dating profile:
What people read: 🍆💦🍑🥵🚕👋
What I mean: 💒💏💏🚚🏘️
I've been re-inspired by some immigrant coworkers to affirm something I already suspected: having bigger households with multiple working people in them makes surviving and saving way easier ($3 million Retirement Thread looms menacingly). I wanna grill through the apocalypse with my 2-5 partners cause my actual family ain't shit. And I'm genuinely tired of people just being uninvested in relationships in general. It feels like most of them are really inwardly focused and only really care about what they're doing or their own aesthetic preferences.
I mean, you can have roommates that you don't fuck.
I've got a number of friends who routinely joke-but-kinda-seriously about fucking off and starting a commune together. We're all in committed relationships and only get to hang out periodically on the weekends. Would be nice to just be in, like, a single big house or even just a village together. Somewhere that we don't have to drive 15 miles to see one another.
I don't think I've seen a roommate situation last more than a couple years. Doesn't seem to be enough of a relationship to overcome the "fuck you, me first" mentality I see in a lot of people where they just kinda...move on when things don't serve them anymore.
I've also thought about the commune thing, but the general consensus I've heard from former commune people is "DON'T". A normal house in a normal neighborhood sounds fine, tbh. Also, I just kinda like being in love as a general...human thing. Poly love just always made more sense to me than monogamy. I just use the financials to justify it to myself intellectually.
I mean, I roomed with an old high school buddy for about five years. The only reason I moved out was because I got engaged. Then he met a girl and moved to Austin and started his own family.
I can hardly knock that. Just don't understand how polygamy makes things any less complicated. But maybe folks into poly relationships are just more likely to be compatible in big households. Idk. I dated non-monogomously for a while, but quickly discovered that having any two people I was dating at the same time in the same room together was a terrible idea.
Congrats on the engagement/marriage, but this is kinda illustrating my point. Modern nuclear family structures send people flying off away from any kind of stable extended family or friendships. It doesn't feel like an isolated thing either, I've gathered from quite a lot of people I've talked to and conversations I've overheard that most peoples' former social networks span across the whole continent.
That's fair. Tbh, I feel compersion pretty strongly, so I don't have any issues with that myself. I'm happy to meet the people that the people I like...like. When others feel the need to make a big deal out of secrets and keeping all their boxes separate I'm just like :blob-no-thoughts:
Maybe I'm too dumb for monogamy to make sense
Until he got a job in Austin, we were within five minutes of one another and continued to hang out regularly. But yes, I agree that it would have been nice to just continuously cohabitant indefinitely.
I might feel the same way if I ever dated someone who was looking to juggle multiple boyfriends. But the handful of girls I knew that were like that never seemed interested in me, while the girls who did click tended to be much more territorial.
Less "keeping secrets" and more "if I have to look at that bitch again, I'm going to scratch her eyes out" energy.
Ha. From where I'm sitting, seeing successful polygamy is like watching a clown casually keeping a dozen colored balls in the air while balanced on a unicycle. I have no idea how it works and just assume anyone in that kind of relationship is some kind of major league professional dating wizard.
It's true, I am a clown :funny-clown-hammer:
Wait, people might be into that. Actually not a clown! Just a dumbass who thinks she has a plan but ends up wandering into situations.
same like how the fuck is it a thing
A long time ago there was a really jealous boi...
This sounds like the Chomsky theory that material conditions influence religion, morals, and sexuality.
Ngl, I think I'm more the exception than the rule. I spent way too much time trying to navigate out of hookup culture.
I know I'm in the minority here but I can't imagine liking someone enough to want to be friends with them without also being interested in fucking them. Tbh I don't think that platonic/romantic/sexual love are really different things.
:spray-bottle: :bonk: :volcel-judge: :volcel-kamala:
I guess I just need hotter friends.
I mean, finding someone "hot" and being interested in having sex with them aren't the same thing. You can have enjoyable sex with people you wouldn't consider hot. Sex is a fun game for one or more players, I wouldn't pass up the opportunity if someone I like asks me to play it with them.
i kinda feel that