Imagine, if you will, a curse which makes you only able to recall the last three topics you have thought about. Also imagine that you live in a situation where nobody else you meet in person really gives a shit about leftist ideals the same way you do, and have a daily routine which is mostly staring at the television. Imagine trying to accomplish any self-improvement or even self-care while having no long-term memory beyond writing little sticky notes for yourself.
I'm not sure what to do here, since anything I can do to get in a better situation requires planning, and I cannot focus well enough to plan. Am I doomed to be a meat puppet controlled by fucking sloth demons or something?
I feel this. There's lots of educational or agitational material I've been wanting to write, and various other projects that have been rolling over from one week to the next to the next.
Right out of high school, I was jobless and living in my parents' home, just on my laptop all day, for some time; I felt like I couldn't achieve anything, that I was good for nothing. At a certain point I went to college, started to rack up a reasonable number of Ws, and met a bunch of local leftists IRL. Still, it often feels like my brain holds me back; I'm still very disorganized, being late and missing deadlines and struggling to garner the executive function for what is "the basics" for most people; I wonder what my life would be like if it hadn't taken the (eventually) fortunate twists that it did.
I don't believe this. It sounds like something you've internalized from shortcomings, but it's not serving you well.
Brains aren't static. Yours will probably benefit from doing more than sticky notes, and having a planner and folder that you take everywhere and write stuff in. The key to this is making a habit of referring back to it. It's like working out: there's a hump of inertia to overcome just to do it, but it makes you feel good about yourself afterward, and the more you do it, the easier it gets.
You’re probably right.