I just wanted to say that your thoughts here read like something I would have written a few years ago. I would have said something about how I wasn't really dysphoric because I didn't have any specific issues with my body or anything like that, and I didn't necessarily hate being called a man. The truth is, though, I was massively dysphoric, but I didn't realize it because nobody had ever told me that what I felt wasn't normal. Also, I was terrified about being open about me feelings, to the point that I repressed everything and didn't even have an awareness of my own emotions a lot of the time.

For me, dysphoria was mostly a sense of detachment from my body, like I was watching myself live someone else's life, or that I was playing a video game where my little RPG guy ran around in 3rd person. Also, I was very depressed and felt generally uneasy all the time. I don't know if those feelings were directly dysphoria, or more of a higher order effect of dysphoria, but what I do know is that when I started HRT they all went away. Now, I feel better doing dishes on an average Monday morning than I did at maybe any single point between the ages of like 12 and 23.

So basically I would suggest that you shouldn't worry so much about gender expression, gender identity (which, if you ask me, is a primary sex characteristic related to how your brain processes hormones), or what you want to be called. Instead, think about if you're happy right now, if your life is going well, and how you would feel about a future where you continue to be a man with an increasingly masculine body, forever.

I kind of distanced myself from women after that because I was afraid of making anyone uncomfortable

This is super common among transfeminine people. I'm not sure there's any way out of feeling like this sometimes, except if you reach the point where people don't perceive you as male anymore.

I wish I had better recommendations for stuff for you to check out. I read a lot of books, and I'm always on the lookout for good trans lit. It's rough though, what does exist for adults tends to be depressing as hell, very millennial, and full of silly tropes (why does every trans author feel the need to debunk autogynephilia, nobody cares.). Maybe some other comrades have better recommendations.

If you haven't, you should definitely read Whipping Girl by Julia Serano. It's been the go to for like 15 years now. Unfortunately, it focuses more on politics and feminism than about like dysphoria or personal exploration. Still has lots of good insight either way. Of couy there's a lot of pretty good trans YouTubers now. Even the really lib ones usut have some good gender insight.