• FunkyStuff [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    If all those far right candidates were to lose, what was all the money Dems spent on their campaigns for?

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      It's 6 weeks from now and it's the night of the election. A CNNN reporter is streaming live as he interviews Heinrich "88" Himmler II who legally changed his name from Mike Douchebag. He won his race for state senator in Podunk County, Arizona.

      Reporter: "Mr. Himmler, what do you attribute your election victory to?"

      Himmler: "God, Guns, the White Race, Nazism, and The Democratic Party. The Democrats put me over the top. An' Call Me 88."

      Within an hour "Call Me 88" merch starts to appear on many sites. It's an instant hit. "Call me 88" becomes the "gotta have" right-wing merch for the rest of 2022 and into 2023. The less shy members of the republicans call him a rising star.

      • panopticon [comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I'd say step away from the lathe but at this point it seems pretty much baked in. Instead let me borrow your time machine

        • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
          hexagon
          ·
          2 years ago

          Instead let me borrow your time machine.

          You'll have to wait until 82 days ago. I'm not sure how long that means in this time line. Anyway - one day the machine will just appear where you are. Due to technical reasons it's best to get in right away and get started. Just don't push the accelerator too hard. That will... um... would have been being led to some unfortunate circumstances.

          • Zoift [he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            PROPER OPERATION OF A TIME-MACHINE:

            STEP 1: Slam the "Shuffle" button repeatedly.

            • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
              hexagon
              ·
              2 years ago

              Bring that beat back. Brought that beat back. Beat will be brings back. Beat will have beaten back. Bring that beat back...