We're like to extend our most sincere apologies for today's downtime, explain the issue, and talk about what we'll be doing going forward.
Late last night or early this morning, an owl entered the server room and, unsurprisingly, pissed on everything. We had to drag them out of a corner where they'd started building a nest out of CAT5 cables. After checking with all our keyholders, we determined that they had not tricked someone into lending them the keys this time, and nobody had left a window open. We have not found their entry point yet, but we suspect we are getting closer (we've found a large pile of shit near one of the vents).
We managed to dry one server off and get the website running again, but unfortunately we only have 1 hair dryer and will need a few more days to dry the rest of the servers and get the site fully operational.
Going forward, our plan is:
- Cover outside AC vents and similar in chicken wire
- assess and reinforce weak points in the building's structure
- tape old CDs to the building to reflect the sun and scare them away
- attack roosting spikes to the server racks
- stop keeping open, uncovered cans of beans at our desks
We are also looking into hiring a falconer as a more active deterrent.
Thank you for your patience in such a difficult time.
@Voight? This is incredible, either you're @Voight or I attract a really specific brand of weirdo that makes wild deductions from extremely broad statements, has an obsession with being more intelligent than other people, splits their near instant replies into 3-5 posts, and is totally going to move to Veitnam any day now.
Edit: Oh, and the obsession with some sort of elite class of website regulars who are conspiring against you.
Buddy you probably wouldn't get any comments about your obsession with belonging to an internet forum for posting anime pictures if you hadn't cited "a joke we used to do on the subreddit" like I give a fuck. And you wouldn't get called out for using alt accounts if you bothered to introduce variety other than "SHIT!!! POOP! I AM VERY FUNNY! OWL COVERED IN SHIT!!! oh god im sad again wahhh the world is ending :(((( POOP!!!"
I don't have any option other than moving to Vietnam to be involved in this industry. I might as well roast you about it.
I forgot about getting mad about the community having a history and in jokes that they don't know, Voight did that too. Are you sure you're not Voight?
Also "Ryan Gosling" and "Zed Proclaimer" (Z poster)??? LOL come on at least make the names less obvious I know it's not just Owls. You all post exactly the same. You can tell when Le Discord Gang pulls up. Show yourselves cowards. I should have reported my OWN post so you see it's directly mailing mods
So what's the theory here? I'm just swapping between my accounts constantly, keeping a consistent "identity" attached to each one (e.g British, Australian, American), posting all day and night? When would I have time to do my job?
Are you asking me if I'm going to do what you do and waste all my time reading your entire profile, or I'm only riffing on how blatantly shady everyone here acts? Wouldn't that just be indulging your little online persona even more? You can read everything I've said fourteen times, I don't have anything to hide. I'm not the one hiding my posts. It's the latter. You can stop panicking that my litigation will proceed further.
This is too easy why are you giving me material
I like how there's never any point it's just "getting mad" not me pointing out there is a group of people here sitting around like "hey it's fine if we make alts and bot our own site and harass people and pretend to be members of marginalized communities, if we multiply representation we'll eventually get the real deal" and you admit it half the time like brother you have a drunk man randomly leaking everything on here.
I called the whole Ukraine/Palestine bent leaving you guys helpless and unhappy too. Like just the other day a guy was getting mad at me for pointing out defeatism on the behalf of the Palestinians is inappropriate and unwarranted. I speak to you because I understand nobody would act like you unless you were in deep pain and suffering from a shattered identity. Maybe eventually some of it will sink in. But after seeing people still wandering around talking about how "Russia is putting Ukrainians in a war zone and the USA is sending weapons to stop it" I guess I have to write off the old sub. Would be nice if we had a Ship of Theseus thing going here, but we both know that isn't true. You know how much of the activity here is all "regulars".
I don't give snide advice to people I hate. You deserve to know better than spending years doing online performing arts in the hopes nobody notices, but at the same time everyone does. You deserve better than trying to fix commonwealth countries. Move to a country that's doing MAOIST AGRICULTURE and RAISE THE DEVELOPMENT LEVEL. Stop participating in the activist-NGO complex that has robbed you of hope and agency! Or die!
are you sure you're not an owl covered in shit?