DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately at social events, I often find myself trapped by people who want to share, in excruciating detail, their genetic test results.
Each person finds their own results deeply compelling, marveling at length over being 3% this and 15% that, with stunning reveals like, “I thought I we were Welsh, but it turns out we’re Scottish!”
Meanwhile, the next person is on deck, barely half-listening, eagerly getting ready to launch into their own genetic saga.
Monologuing about the minutiae of one’s DNA is self-absorption at, quite literally, the cellular level. Is there a polite way to shut this down?
GENTLE READER: Oh, dear. Miss Manners would have thought that we had established the idea that bragging about one’s lineage is rude, and now it has started up again.
Well, you could try expanding the scope of the conversation. Try, “What would your ancestors have thought of the state of America today?” Or, “I suppose you must want to travel there now. What are your vacation plans this year?”
Or, “Excuse me, I need to freshen my drink.”
they tested my cum and it came back Probably Nordic, just like Opa always said!!
These are deeply boring to me. I'm an asshole so sometimes I like to completely kill the vibe and force a subject change.
Im black. Usually something along the lines of "I'm like 30% European, so weird how that got there!" makes everyone very very uncomfortable and we suddenly stop chatting 23andme blood quantum.
I've never actually taken one of these tests either but this line works.
-proceeds to take note of all fellow Black comrades-
Tbh it's corny hearing white people talk about their ancestry like damn man at least you got records and data, my family is probably on a ledger somewhere in the void 🤷🏿♂️
Yup. Ofc had that conversation with mom as a little kid when people at school were talking about family trees, histories, records and the like, part of a history unit or smth.
"Do we have anything like that?" "They didn't really keep records for where our family came from honey"
Yeah, all I know is that my biological grandfather was Choctaw and that's just cause my dad told me. I don't know shit else about my family tree like that. Would I like to? Sure, but I've always felt uncomfortable with sending my damn DNA to a company with the history of Black people being used in experiments and shit...that's a no from me
I also don't really fw my family like that they're pretty toxic aside from like a few lmao 🤷🏿♂️
Fuckin real talk. Similar situation actually in that I know my great grandfather was chickahominy from old pictures & newspaper clippings (I'm not about to do the white american thing and claim I'm part of that culture though), and there's some afro cuban history but that's about all I know. Plus half of my family are toxic no masker antivax black republicans so yeah, the value of extended family to me is.....lol.
And I am 100% not sending my DNA to any of these companies, you're right about the shady shit they could easily get up to
I'm not surprised there's a lot of Native Black folks considering that we certainly had a shared interest, lol. I would love to learn more about the culture, respectfully. On my mom's side I'm an islander (was born there actually) so I know about some of it but it doesn't go back that far
It kinda sucks we don't have a lot of options for exploring our ancestry like white people do 😑
The "I'm 2% pocahontas" white people talk nosedives when I mention my grandfather was native and didn't learn English until he went to school.