As you all know I got raptured yesterday during the totality of the eclipse and now I'm in heaven well IT SUCKS. They only have pretzels and gamecube. Jesus always wants to read the bible and they don't have any movies with boobies in them. I still can't see god, they say I need to be here for at least 2 more centuries. GIVE ME A BREAK

  • zifnab25 [he/him, any]
    ·
    7 months ago

    White boy from the states finds a nice Arab man preaching peace, love, and universal inclusion to be annoying?

    Real shocker.

    Wait till you find out Jesus's views on China, anti-cracker-aktion

      • zifnab25 [he/him, any]
        ·
        7 months ago

        The only thing more effective to the cause of Leftist Revolution than posting is ingesting the deep and profoundly moving social theory present in Nintendo's most accomplished Mario imprint.

        If Karl Marx, Mao Zedong, and Vladimir Lenin had been alive during the GameCube period, Communism wouldn't have failed.

  • HexbearGPT [comrade/them]
    ·
    7 months ago

    Well I’m in hell and it fucking rules.

    I’m eating so much guacamole. It’s fucking delicious, guess ya should’ve done some more sins ya fucking loser. Deuces✌️

  • culpritus [any]
    ·
    7 months ago

    This was the real contradiction of faith for me as a pre-teen. I was raised Christian, and I kept wondering how bored I would get in heaven if I was really going to be there for eternity. In my mind it was a big amusement park, and eventually I would get bored with all the rides and such.

    • FunkyStuff [he/him]
      ·
      7 months ago

      I remember trying to explain to another kid why Heaven is so good, trying to explain what eternity was. The other kid thought it literally meant infinite time, so you'd just get bored after a while, and I was trying to explain how it's literally outside of time so it's all of existence all at once forever but at no point in time because it isn't inside time, etc etc. I don't think I made it sound very appealing.

      • culpritus [any]
        ·
        7 months ago

        trying to explain how it's literally outside of time so it's all of existence all at once forever but at no point in time because it isn't inside time

        Heaven is just the ultimate Time-Out where Good puts the good souls. It's like the china cabinet with the nice dishes that you never use because they are so nice.