i kinda hate how emotionally constricted i feel around my parents who visit me often. i feel even worse when i was living with them. but thats just ONE problem. i kinda dont like my IRL friends, and i dont know how to make new ones. ive been extremely, incredibly lonely my whole life so while i dont want to lose any friends, i just spiral without any social contact.

so my BIG problem is that my parents are getting a new house soon, asking me to move back in and i'll get a nice office/private space, which is tempting despite how emotionally constricted i feel (and my parents are getting pretty old + bills are getting pricier and pricier for me at home alone). but it means i'll leave and wont have friends over there since its a different city. and while i dont LOVE those friends, its still social contact i dont normally have at all. its just all frustrating stuff man