No doxxing of course. And I don't want people getting nsfw without warning. A comrade made a beautiful comment and I want to do more to welcome conversations if I can.
And sometimes we can use a little catharsis.
I know. I just meant if somebody wanted to shout something into the void without serious judgment, it'd be cool to have the opportunity.
But again, please dont post anything that you wouldn't want your designated agent to know.
For me, I feel like I'm on the precipice of figuring the answer to something big in my life. But I'm also afraid that it's going to really hurt me.
develop an attachment to the weird potato. It'll do you both good unless your family sucks in which case disregard
I still practice, ah, negative self-talk very frequently, like multiple times a day.
CW: Suicidal ideation
spoiler
Whenever I remember something stupid that I've done I'll reflexively think or whisper something like "jesus christ fucking kill yourself", "I want you to die", "please kill yourself you idiot", or something to that effect. The weird thing is that I don't really mean it that much anymore, it's more of a reflexive hail mary type absolution. I'll say it or think it and then go on with what I was doing. I moved back in with my mom after graduating in the winter and I haven't slipped up and done it verbally in front of her yet, but if I do I don't think it'll go over well - it took her a long time to recover and feel like I was safe after my last suicide threat a few years ago, and even then I think she'll always be a little on edge because of it.
Additionally I'm still unsure about my gender identity and the way my mother and sister have responded to me opening up about it has made me even less willing to tell the rest of my family. Even worse, it's altered the way I'm thinking about it. I've become more fixated on trying to "prove" what I'm feeling and what I am and turned something that I was confused about to something I am very anxious about, so I just avoid it for the most part :transshork-sad:
Also this is a cool idea for a thread. We love to see it
Whoa, I do literally the same thing with the negative self-talk, but I've never been suicidal or "meant it". Never thought somebody else might have the same compulsion.
I don't like my parents at all and we barely talk anymore, like maybe once a year at this point. That's a little negative and this post seems hopeful so let me try something else.
I'm cautiously optimistic about the future in general, like for all of humanity. I'm less optimistic about my own personal future, I'm pretty bad at most jobs and I only have my current one because the owner and management are so frustrating to work with everyone quits within six months. I stuck around, so I'm able to keep working there. It's a dying field I work in and the company has never been doing too well.I have a weird amount of luck though so I have a unfounded belief that losing my current job would coincide with sudden end of capitalism in America and I'd be ok either way. Yeah I don't know how to express this, it's just something I think about a lot.
I wouldn't sell yourself short - perseverance and patience are skills in and of themselves
And I can vibe with that. I've learned a lot about the difference between 'love' and 'like' through my family.
And about the cautious optimism I've felt that way too! Just earlier today. I realized how pointless and unfulfilling my job was and how because we know capitalism is such a flawed system that it would only end in its own destruction. In the grand scheme of things, a better world is inevitable.
I want to be neutral about it, but I want people to feel welcome sharing whatever they may want to verbalize.
My spouce is chronically ill and after a new round of complications it is more than I can handle to get everything done for both of us and it feels bad.
i kinda hate how emotionally constricted i feel around my parents who visit me often. i feel even worse when i was living with them. but thats just ONE problem. i kinda dont like my IRL friends, and i dont know how to make new ones. ive been extremely, incredibly lonely my whole life so while i dont want to lose any friends, i just spiral without any social contact.
so my BIG problem is that my parents are getting a new house soon, asking me to move back in and i'll get a nice office/private space, which is tempting despite how emotionally constricted i feel (and my parents are getting pretty old + bills are getting pricier and pricier for me at home alone). but it means i'll leave and wont have friends over there since its a different city. and while i dont LOVE those friends, its still social contact i dont normally have at all. its just all frustrating stuff man
Trying to avoid the lathe if at all possible, but things seem OK at the moment. Still supplanting social interaction with browsing hexbear, but that's OK too. I'm mostly safe and on track and wish the same for you
My emotionally abusive ex roommate came to my job just to hang out with her new friend.
I'm told to never set foot in her apartment and she actively goes out of her way to run victory laps at my fucking place of work.
She works at the same company and her ex is in corporate, so it's really hard for me to not perceive this as a power play :agony-limitless:
I watch more internet pornography than I'm comfortable with, I have trouble resisting the urge to do so, and I'm too ashamed to talk about it with anybody IRL. I feel like it negatively affects my self esteem, self image, and the way I look at people in the world.
Not a dumb question at all comrade, I've been in therapy for years and struggle with depression which I see as linked and causal to this issue.
It's tough because other things (low self-esteem etc) you can discuss with other people in your life freely, whereas this one is pretty impossible (or at least humiliating) to try to enlist your friends and family as a support group.
So, this is where my therapist makes their money, lol
I gotchu fam. Read this. Cured my addiction. Should help with yours.
Also, unironically #AllPornIsBad. Those who disagree fite me. :fidel-bat:
Maybe I'm wrong, but OC stuff where the poster isn't a seller feels to be not evil. Lots of :reddit-logo: pages are just filled with bored people. Although there's a massive middle class suburbia vibe that isn't really attractive to me. Anyhow, I'm not trying to struggle session. I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on bored people posting.
Thank u comrade :meow-hug: I will start reading this.
I don't know if I agree that all porn is bad, but is all porn bad for me? Probably, yes
This seems like a self limiting problem. Not to be rude but are you wanking it correctly? If you are having frequent needs that cannot be controlled it could be a sign that you aren't actually getting done whst your body needs. Or like, maybe some depression or a hormone imbalance.
Try switching up your routine and see if that helps. Switch to a more active style and see if the extra exertion helps balance your humors
I dunno, I switched up stances amback in the day and it changed my relationship with my body so it is something to think about if you are unhappy with current results
It's not a physical thing for me but mental - a kind of uncontrollable desire to consume that content, and the mindspace it takes up even when I'm not looking at it.
I'm actually in a relationship which makes it more complicated. Affects my libido, desires, etc.
It's a whole thing
Pretty generic shit, I feel lonely, have no one (i want) to talk to irl but myself and self hatred (the last one though has been better since I started anti-depressants).
dawg, you're not disappointing your dead anything, you're disappointed in yourself when you shouldn't be. So what if you're still finishing up grad school? Your grandpa would be happy that you're still alive, doing okay, and that you're trying
I feel 1 million percent that what you're doing is fine. You SHOULD be getting better and more fair support. It's not your fault that the system is fucking broken.
I can count on two hands the number of friends from childhood who had idealistic intentions, yet now work for evil Inc (weapons, pharmaceuticals, insurance). Comrade, you're good.
As a healthcare professional it's fine. The system is garbage. Disability is intentionally hostile and any success you experience is a victory over a system designed to hurt you. Take everything you can from it so I can know maybe some of my tax doars are actually helping someone.
