A non-vegan “friend” flew in to visit me, and eating with him was painful. I couldn’t stand just sitting there watching this dude glutton himself with animal corpses and secretions. I think every single meal he ate was non-vegan—the only vegan thing he ate was a pasta I single-handily cooked for us (which he didn’t even thank me for despite gobbling it up! Asshole!). Glad he’s gone now, but now my unapologetically carnist parents are flying in for my birthday and I know they’re going to gorge themselves on cows and pigs. I don’t know whether I should just suck it up and just ignore their disgusting diet, or put my foot down and say that they can go to whatever fancy restaurants they want but I won’t be going if they’re going to eat animals. I don't know if I can take the former, but on the other hand I don't want to deal with stupid drama when they'll be gone in a few days.
God I hate this world and I hate humans. My misanthropy has precipitously climbed higher and higher since turning vegan. Sometimes I just want to go hermit mode and live in the middle of nowhere with a huge stockpile of lentils and zero animal cruelty in my presence.
Some people take the liberation pledge, which is to not sit at any table where animals are being eaten.
I can't say that I'm that personally hard-core, but what I have found effective is just making vegan foods for other people.
Practically, having someone who is a carnist eat a vegan meal is just as valuable to the animals as every meal that you eat as a vegan. If anything its more important, because they were going to eat an animal and you weren't, if that makes sense.
I just take any opportunity to make vegan food for carnists. One, it fills them up so they can't eat animals and two, it teaches them that vegan food can be tasty and filling, which we all know but you have to beat into their carnist brains.
Whenever vegans say this, I always get the gut feeling they're libs or pick-me. Please don't, and especially in response to someone advocating being 'practical'.
You can attract more flies with honey than vinegar.
Problems in your post:
a) You can cook your way to animal liberation... Cooking food for carnists isn't vegan activism. Vegan food is only ever adjacent to vegan activism - the core of veganism as an emancipatory movement.
b) Your post lends itself to incrementalism... Advocating for baby steps through omission is advocating for another baby to take its last steps. Also, veganism is an abolitionist movement requiring revolution on individual and broader levels.
c) 'plantbased diet makes you vegan' instead of 'veganism makes you choose a plantbased diet' Vegan meals are a false notion. Vegan-adjacent meals are the only meals we have. Also, the core of veganism is vegan activism. Not participating in violence, nor food, is at the centre of veganism as a movement.
d) ~tasty food is needed to be vegan Is adjacent to we need technological solutions to social problems, which is problematic. Being happy with the taste of plantbased foods doesn't by virtue reflect a change in heart.
The distinction you're trying to draw here would be a lot more meaningful and helpful if this there we a post about defining veganism and not about how to navigate a specific meal scenario as a vegan.
"Veganism isn't just a diet" is all well and good, but it's a category error to harp on that when the discussion is "how does veganism specifically impact diets".
No, I don't eat with nonvegans unless they're eating plant based food. My friends and family either eat plant based food when they're around me (which all of my carnist friends and fam do, because they know seeing corpses is upsetting to me and they care about me), or we can eat separately and hang out in other ways, not around food.
But for real, it's not a big deal to go to a vegan restaurant for one meal, or eat food that you served them for a meal, so any carnist unwilling to go without corpses for a meal they're sharing with you for your comfort's sake isn't worth keeping around imo. If they can't care about the animals, the least friends and family can do is care about you and your feelings. Otherwise, what's the point? You don't owe a relationship to people who don't give a shit about your comfort
