Ok, at risk at sounding like a boomer, let me preface by mentioning a couple of things: I am in my mid 30's, and I have always hated cell phones. I hated them when they first came out, I hate them now, and I will always hate them into the future. I hate the expectation that I should be available all of the time, and I haven't owned one for about a decade.
With that out of the way ...
I was at a (Canadian) Thanksgiving dinner last night. My friend had prepared a very nice dinner for all of us, and a few people brought their own offerings. They were all from a political group that is active on a local campus, so a couple of the people that attended were pretty young.
They spent about half the night staring into their cell phones, at the dinner table where our host had spent hours preparing a nice meal for all of us.
Is this considered "normal" now? I was always under the impression that cell phones should not be used at the dinner table, let alone at a fucking Thanksgiving meal. This is not behaviour that I would allow from my child let alone a fully grown adult.
Am I just old now, and is this now acceptable? Am I just being an old curmudgeon?
I don't think it's an age thing, because I've seen boomers do it and I've seen young people do like I do, where I put my phone away and apologize if I'm with people and I pop it out to acknowledge / deal with a notification "sorry, some time sensitive shit at work" or "sorry, elderly family" or whatever.
people who are on their phone the whole time at a small social gathering / huddled around a table are probably on some compulsive shit and teasing them about is probably going to go over like telling someone to stop biting their nails. I'm not saying don't do it or that they don't deserve it (light em up!), just be ready for them to not appreciate your intervention.
I'm saying, when you call them out with something creative ("put your toys away, babies"), they're going to come back with something like a "fuck you." so you'll want a follow up that is even stronger than your opening salvo ("You motherfuckers, so help me Christ, I am going to jam my thumb in your fucking eye!" [slams both fists into green bean casserole]).
The way to "call these people out" isn't to point out the rudeness, but rather ask a question that will draw them back in to the present moment. It might be cheesy, but having some prepped questions ready can go a long way. People are just looking for engagement, and if the natural course of the conversation isn't providing that, dropping a canned question can bring them back in.
Why call them out period? Who gives a shit if someone wants to bury themselves in their phone. People have free will and it's weird that people care so much about what others are doing. Just ignore them if them "ignoring others" bothers people so much.
in situations like sitting down for a thanksgiving dinner someone spent hours preparing for you, it is polite to show someone respect and appreciation for using their free will to do something nice for you. the same goes for most situations in which people use their free will to spend time with you
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do you typically sit around and talk to those people while you eat?
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that's weird to me I would be embarresed to eat without talking to the person who made my food.
i kinda feel the same way personally; i also know that a lot of people view eating as a communal thing and would like to have a nice conversation and just connect with the people they care about
Why would people go out of their way to go to a small social event when they can stay on their phone at home.
It's baffling to see this "people have free will, just ignore them" shit on a forum where 50% of the posts are calling out otherwise chud behaviour. To top it all off, this isn't about what they should or shouldn't do, it's that the OP themselves feels bad for them doing it, the actions are not bad in a vacuum. If one of your friends was really bugged or hurt by some thing that to you was mundane would your reply be "free will brah"?