Several people asked for a follow up after I asked if I should do it. Well, I did it. It didn't go quite as smoothly as it did in my head, but the important thing is that I saved the yaois and didn't get caught. Gay crime committed successfully
:mission-accomplished::mission-accomplished-1::mission-accomplished-2::mission-accomplished:
Posting about it might be dumb, but even if someone doxxed me, nobody else at work knew it existed so I'm pretty sure they'd just look like a crazy person. If anyone asks, I made this story up for Hexbear clout, also it was a satirical parody about capitalism's wasteful tendencies, also it all happened in Minecraft.
Another funny angle to this story: years ago, I lived in Japan for a bit, and collected way too much stuff and tried to ship it back in a huge overstuffed box. The box burst open, and I lost most of what was in it - including some NSFW yuri stuff. Once, my gay porn wound up in the hands of a random warehouse worker. Now, I'm a random warehouse worker, and someone else's gay porn has wound up in my hands. The circle is now complete, the cosmic balance is restored. Just like the Biblical story of Job, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away :theory-gary:
I'm not quite at a place where I can inspect my haul throughly, so I will provide more details on this story as it develops.
I didn't post this in the original thread but my first thought was that if you get caught with it you should just be blatantly and openly honest.
"I am stealing gay porn from work because it seemed like a funny story to be able to tell people I stole gay porn from work." :gigachad:
I honestly think a lot of workplaces would be sympathetic to this blatant level of honesty when they are forced into a managerial discussion as absurd as "what do we do about the employee we caught stealing gay porn?". But yeah it depends on the management.
Anyway, grats on your gay hentai.
stealling gay porn that they were supposed to destroy as miscelanious junk decent odds they would just accept that as funny
Yeah exactly. You'd have to have a particular type of person to not find the situation at least a little bit funny, and if the situation is funny then chances are they wouldn't want to take further action over it. I find it hard to imagine "theft of gay porn" in a managerial discussion as anything other than something quite amusing.
often when someone is mad at you just apologising and admitting responsibility completely takes the air out of their sails
wow i cant believe you made this up for clout and are not planning to steal more things (which would be very awesome and cool btw)
You're posting on Hexbear, the site that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery.
That's very true, I would never advocate someone steal something on my favorite liberal website hexbear.net
I'm thinking this fictional story could be an inspiration for a whole fictional novel.
You know, for NaNo.
This truly is premium Internet content. Glad to know the old web is still somewhat alive.
I can't shake the nagging feeling that this is fake like every :reddit-logo: story, but I want to believe that we're niche enough that we haven't attracted that kind of attention.
I don't have a way to prove it and I wouldn't share it if I did, but if it was fake, I'd be proud of coming up with it.
prove it by posting pics (hosted somewhere not on hexbear :hentai-free: )
I'm not going to post actual evidence of crimes where :fedposting: can see it. Posting about it in the first place is kinda dumb... but the whole thing would be pointless if I didn't tell people about it.
Volcel police should support porn because every orgasm via masturbation is one less orgasm via intercourse
Volcel doctrine is for all bodily fluids to be kept inside, citizen. No exceptions. :volcel-judge:
🎵 You don't know, what it's like, you don't have a clue 🎵
🎵 If you did, you'd find yourself, stealing the gay porn too! 🎵
In 2000 years, some Hobbits will go on a quest to cast this gay porn into the fires of Mt Doom
I know everyone's dying to know what I got, but they're proving tough to track down.
Unfortunately the Code Geass has SA, looks like it's one of those ones that uses it as a tragic backstory. There is one that's not explicit, and also has the most info in English:
spoiler
VANILLA-TEI PRESENTS 2002 1228 I'M SLAVE 4U LOVELESS RITSUKA+SOUBEI+SEIMEI+KIOThe back cover has a catboy in a skirt.
Idk anything about Loveless. I assume the numbers mean it was published December 28, 2002. Given the date, it may not even be on the internet.
Most of them are from Loveless, actually. The dates range from 2002 (the spoilered one) to 2009 (the Code Geass one, for one).
It's not unusual for us to get stuff after it's been sitting in a warehouse for years. I've seen some real old tech come through, like old school typewriters even. 2009 was, coincidentally, only a few years before my trip to Japan, so if their collection was a few years old, it's possible they lost it around the same time.The MHW art book that was with it means it was more recent.The material is all in Japanese, which I've mostly forgotten. It's all guy-on-guy and ranges from some stuff that looks cutesy and romantic, to some stuff that's very explicit.
On the explicit end
there's one called "Miracle Norton" (translated) and it says in English, "B'sLOG Collection." It's from 2007 and has stuff about a "CD-ROM mini game." The CD isn't there, but there are postcards included with chibi characters. It's not a doujin like the others, it looks like it's an art book, I'm guessing for a porn game.
Apparently the main relationship in Loveless is between a 12 year old and a 20 year old :libertarian-approaching: :cringe:
But none of the Loveless stuff is actually explicit, at least.
If its 20 years old this is now funny and also important cultural preservation
I found a review of Miracle
NortonNoton? It's indeed a porn game, and the premise is that the MC finds a notebook that can grant any wish, but only if it's horny and gay. Apparently, that's about the full extent of the plot. It's Death Note but instead of Death Note it's Horny Gay Note.It has a Wikipedia page in Japan! The art director went on to work on the Fire Emblem gacha game, looks like.
のーとん is probably referring to the notebook, not Norton. Machine translation is weird, the weebs of Hexbear might be able to find more if you post the coversAh, OK. I actually assumed that it meant notebook until I saw that there's a character named Norton which looks to be written the same way in hiragana.
The character is the notebook, they're anthropomorphized. I suppose it could be a pun as well
