I'm pretty sure I'd make a pretty bang-up pet psychic. I'm good with reading the body language of most legal house pets, and telling people what they want to hear. I think I could offer genuinely good advice enough times that I could justify what I'm doing and how much I'm charging for it.
I would do industrial espionage for unscrupulous companies. Basically, you fluff up your resume, then get hired, download fucking everything you can and sell it to their competitors.