I'm pretty sure I'd make a pretty bang-up pet psychic. I'm good with reading the body language of most legal house pets, and telling people what they want to hear. I think I could offer genuinely good advice enough times that I could justify what I'm doing and how much I'm charging for it.
In the US, I am being 100% sincere that there would be think tanks that would give you money to shit on the Nordic model, no doubt.