your coworker, sipping his morning Monster Energy™, asks you, "how do German gamers say good afternoon?" you can hear your fingernails growing. he blurts out, nearly laughing, "GamerTag!" you black out. the smell of copper burns your nose. blue and red lights flashing. the walls stained maroon.

  • Thylacine [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    if I could go back to 2008 with the knowledge I have now I completely believe that my life wouldn't be so shitty as it is in 2022

    • hypercube [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      oh yeah, not only would I have gotten my transition on the go earlier, but I'd also be worshipped as an oracle by a small, devoted sect of twunks wearing loose silk garments & pouring honey into my mouth

    • pooh [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I'd pull a Biff and bring a sports almanac with me

      • UlyssesT [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        It might work for a few sporting events until the Butterfly Effect kicked in more and more, considering how many countless tiny variables would slightly alter the outcomes more and more the moment you acted (and profited) differently.

        • pooh [she/her]
          ·
          2 years ago

          You could also just buy bitcoin early on then sell it before it crashes.

      • Thylacine [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        yeah I'd probably still fuck mine up somehow :deeper-sadness: