I've always been hesitant to try online dating because 1.) I'm a guy 2.) I look like hell 3.) the algorithm prioritizes profit.
But lately I feel like it may be easier to throw my expectations out there and cross my fingers. Seems easier than trying to speak to people in person. But then again, the human aspect sorta just disappears too and I'm now stuck in a game of numbers, and perhaps quite literally as apps line Tinder gamify their services.
Anyway, I don't have anyone I could call a close friend. Hell, I don't even have anyone to call in general lol. I'm thinking it's a bad idea to dip my toes in that crap because I have nowhere to turn when the rejections inevitably come in. Plus at least with face-to-face interactions, I can have some sort of closure (I don't really know how to articulate this part. I guess being able to read faces will give me a better chance of understanding what I did wrong vs. emotionless text on a screen).
As someone who's done this as both masc and fem with occasional success: you will be ghosted a lot. Don't take it personally. The first person you match with likely won't be the one who lasts the longest. It's like gambling on golf but 99.9% of the balls get lost in the woods. Eventually someone will make it to the putting green through attrition.
Don't try to force anything to happen and let things go gracefully, and don't get clingy (until you've seen them irl more than twice, I suppose). The failures will teach you how to read unspoken signals over time. It comes with practice, and the practice can be worth it if you interpret feedback (or lack therof) in a healthy way.
Different dating apps attract different crowds. Some only attract conservative tradpeople, some attract serial daters, some have a strangely large proportion of queer and poly people. The vibe will become pretty apparent within a few minutes of browsing. If you fail in one place you might still do better in another.
Lastly, faking confidence is extremely obvious (esp to fems) if that's what you're planning. We'll just say I've been checking out couples and there are quite a few where a guy who doesn't fit the mold of conventional attractiveness is already in a relationship. I don't think you should discredit yourself because you feel like you won't succeed. You're tripping yourself up right at the starting gate.
Just take care of yourself because it feels nice to be good to yourself, and have a basic hygiene routine. Get some pics in good light (I normally take mine near windows with indirect natural sunlight in a bright room). Find some good recent vacation, hobby, or 'outside' photos, and make sure your profile description gives off a feeling of who you are. Like you have over 3000 hexbear comments so just treat it like an OP. Take some time to make sure you're not letting temporary emotions or anxieties come out and get to the consistent core of things. A degree of honesty is better than finding out 3 months later that things weren't meant to last. People are looking for a person with good vibes more than anything. If you settle down and relax you'll have good vibes.
99.9% sounds like a brutally high failure rate though, how does one cope with the ego destroying effect of that RNG? How does one not take something like that personally? I guess if you treat it like a video game or hobby you do on the side that isnt the main focus of your life attention then sure. But how does one maintain interest in a game that is so brutal? (Assuming the "goal" is to find secks)
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